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Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

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Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
Sex Therapy for Male Sexual Dysfunctions and Fetishes

   By

Rosalie Marie Musumeci, CHT, D.D., D.M.
* Certified Hypnotherapist * Mental Health Counselor (Abuse and Consequences) re: 1990 Internship * Doctor of Divinity * Doctor of Metaphysics *


  Copyright © 1990 by Rosalie Marie Musumeci
All Rights Reserved.  No part of any art / literary content works herein may be reproduced (make copies), adapted (make new versions), distributed or published, performed in public, or displayed.



Table of Contents
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

FEAR OF INTIMACY

THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES
TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES



SEXUAL INTIMACY

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES

DESCRIPTIONS
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS
FETISHES (
Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish)

CAUSES
BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (
Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues)
SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES
GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES

ARTICLES
SEX THERAPY ARTICLE
SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE


SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy) 
FETISHES: Conflict Issues
STATISTICS

MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS

FETISHES

MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES


About Me:
My Professional Life

MY MISSION STATEMENT

PRIVATE PRACTICE

CERTIFICATIONS & CERTIFICATES & COMPLETED NON-CERTIFICATE COURSES

AWARDS AND HONORS

CREATIVE WORKS

PLATFORMS


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Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE





EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

When you have suffered abuse this creates relationship issues concerning emotional and sexual intimacy.

 

FEAR OF INTIMACY

 
Emotional intimacy creates psychological bonding. Emotional intimacy problems you may experience after having been abused are in general having a fear of intimacy even though you may be starving for affection. You may avoid and be fearful of affection whether it be touching or words of affection. You may be unable to replace passion with companionship because you may see emotional intimacy as interference in that because you were close during sexual intimacy, you don’t need or want to then be emotionally intimate. And so, you may alienate, isolate and estrange yourself from others. You may with people who are not right for you and consistently choose the wrong partner.

When I was ready to be in a relationship, though logically I knew the difference between an abusive man and one who was not, my heart didn’t know the difference so I only dated submissive men. I didn’t have to be in control, but I was not going to allow anyone to ever again be in control of me. I then met my second husband Bob and I was never defensive or afraid anymore. This was a blessing for me with his love, kindness and caring. I believe for many reasons we were perfect for each other but especially because he was abused as a child by his mother and father and me as an adult so there was unspoken bond that we would never hurt each other. Sadly, my husband passed on August 22, 2015 and my life has never been the same. Bob lives in my heart and will for all time.

THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY


The following exercises will help you to be rid of your fear / avoidance of emotionally bound situations. You need to have a partner to perform these exercises.
 
SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES

(William H. Masters, PhD and Virginia E. Johnson & Helen Kaplan Singer)


Sensate Focus I does not involve any genital touching. Still, you will experience much pleasure through sensual touch. You should do this exercise to your partner first.

  1.  Ask your partner to lie down on her stomach as you lower the lights and put soft music on.
  2. Start by using creams or oils and make light, feathery, sensual touches to her body beginning with her back.
  3. Ask your partner to close her eyes, and you close your eyes also. See your partner with your hands.
  4. After a while ask her to turn over and continue with your sensual touch.
  5. This touch should make your partner feel loved, accepted, comforted, relaxed, warm, and giving, drawing from her, affection for you.
  6. After you finish, ask your partner to do the same type of touch to you.
  7. You need to do this exercise for a couple of weeks at the very least.
  8. Then move onto Sensate Focus II.

Sensate Focus II includes Sensate Focus I and the following.

  1. This time there will be genital touching, but still no making love.
  2. Do the sensual touching as in Sensate Focus I, but also touch your partner’s genitals and your partner should touch your genitals.
  3. If you try to make love before you have your full confidence back, chances are, a sexual dysfunction may happen.
  4. Be patient and you will get there.
TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

Note: It doesn’t matter who goes first. And do not make love!

Note: If you have Premature Ejaculation, you may not be able to do these touch exercises because you may ejaculate quickly.

  • Couples can do the following exercises in addition to the sex therapy exercises (to follow) for sexual dysfunctions.
  • You do not need to do these touch exercises to remedy your sexual dysfunctions, but they are very helpful.
  • Do not make love.

Just Breathe

  1. Sit on the floor with your legs opened, and have your partner sit in between your legs with her back to your chest.
  2. Gently wrap your arms around her, placing your hands right underneath her breasts.
  3. Both you and your partner close your eyes and as you feel your partner breathe, follow her rhythm, and then switch.

Catch me if you can

  1. You need a plastic mat to play this game.
  2. Take equal parts of baby oil, and any lotion or cream you like and mix them together.
  3. Rub this mixture all over your partner's body and ask her to rub it all over you.
  4. Lie down on the plastic mat, and ask your partner to lie on top of you.
  5. Try to hold her in place as she slips and slides.
  6. After a while, you and your partner should switch.

Impression

  1. Sit on the floor together, face to face.
  2. Start by gently touching your partner’s shoulder.
  3. She then touches your shoulder.
  4. She then touches your face.
  5. You then touch her face.
  6. You touch her hand.
  7. She then touches your hand.
  8. Continue touching different parts of each other’s bodies.

Lean on me

  1. Your partner sits on the floor and you kneel behind her.
  2. Ask her to lean on you and make her body limp so you can gently move her around freely.
  3. After a while you and your partner should switch.

Blindfold

  1. Ask your partner to lie down in a comfortable place and allow you to blindfold her.
  2. Tell her to focus on your touch and tell you what she thinks you are touching her with (e.g., hands, feathers, you are limited only by your imagination).
  3. After a while you and your partner should switch.

Mirroring

  1. Stand face to face with your partner.
  2. Let her take the lead as you behave as if you are looking in a mirror.
  3. Try to follow her movements, becoming her reflection.
  4. After a while you and your partner should switch.

Hide and seek

  1. Ask your partner to take a small piece of tape and place it somewhere on her body while you are not looking.
  2. You must find the tape, and will be able to do this by slow sensual touching on every part of her body.
  3. Move slowly as you explore your partner’s body.
  4. Once you find the tape, switch.



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Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE




SEXUAL INTIMACY

 

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE

WITH MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES


Sexual intimacy concerns physical bonding. Sexual intimacy problems you may experience after having been abused are sexual dysfunctions and fetishes. When you have sexual dysfunctions / fetishes, emotional intimacy is hindered. If you cannot be emotionally intimate, sexual intimacy will not succeed because it will hinder all or some aspects of making love will be absent, difficult or impossible. If you cannot be sexually intimate, your love making will not succeed. As sexual comfort decreases, sexual anxiety increases and then failed emotional intimacy follows suit and round and round you go.

DESCRIPTIONS

MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS

When you have sexual dysfunctions you have problems with desire / arousal / orgasm.

 

 

Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder means that you have little or no desire to make love. You lose your desire before ejaculation when you make love. Your sexual urges, fantasies, or making love, are happening less than twice a month.

Sexual Aversion Disorder means that you have an aversion or revulsion to making love. You have an irrational fear of making love.

Male Erectile Disorder means that you are unable to attain erections when making love. You have weak erections when making love. You have erections on and off when making love. You are unable to maintain adequate erections to complete intercourse to ejaculation when making love.

Male Orgasmic Disorder means that you are unable to ejaculate when making love. You get the feeling to ejaculate, but then lose the feeling when making love.

Premature Ejaculation means that you ejaculate within 5 minutes or less when making love. You ejaculate before you desire when making love.

Combination Orgasmic Disorder means that there are times that you take a long time to ejaculate when making love; you are unable to ejaculate when making love; you get the feeling to ejaculate, but then lose the feeling when making love, and at other times, you ejaculate within 5 minutes or less when making love; you ejaculate before you desire when making love.

Sexual Dysfunctions when Masturbating means that you are sexually dysfunctional when you masturbate but not when you make love.

Sexual Dysfunctions when using Condoms means that you are sexually dysfunctional only when you use a condom.

FETISHES

When you have fetishes you have problems with recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behavior regarding:

 

 
Coprophilia: feces. For example: eating feces / brown showers / when someone defecates on you.

Exhibitionism: exposing your genitals to an unsuspecting or non-consenting person.

Fetishism: using an article of women’s clothing when masturbating. For example: when you place a pair of women’s used panties over your head with the crotch over your nose while masturbating / when you wrap a pair of women’s panties around your penis while masturbating.

Frotteurism: rubbing your penis against an unsuspecting or non-consenting person.

Hypoxyphilia: being deprived of oxygen. For example: when a noose is around your neck.

Infantilism: behaving or dressing as an infant. For example: when you wear a diaper and urinate or defecate in it / when you suck on a pacifier / when you drink from a baby bottle / when you make baby sounds.

Klismaphilia: enemas.

Necrophilia: corpses, death, and destruction.

Partialism: a nonsexual part of a woman’s body, such as feet. For example: when you kiss and lick a woman’s feet / when you rub your penis on a woman’s feet / when you ejaculate between a woman’s toes.

Pedophilia: children.

Sexual Masochism: receiving psychological pain. For example: when you are humiliated / when receiving physical pain such as when you are spanked.

Sexual Sadism: dispensing psychological pain. For example: when you are humiliating someone / when dispensing physical pain such as when you are spanking someone.

Telephone Scatologia: making obscene telephone calls to an unsuspecting or non-consenting person.

Transvestic Fetishism: wearing women’s clothing and accessories, and acting like a woman.

Urophilia: urine. For example: when you drink urine / golden showers / when someone urinates on you.

Voyeurism: watching an unsuspecting or non-consenting person such as while undressing, being naked, or making love.

Zoophilia a.k.a. Bestiality: animals. For example: when you perform oral sex to an animal / when you have intercourse with an animal.

Note: There are other fetishes and variations of the above but these seem to be the most common.


Fetishistic Love Making

When you have fetishes, you will have little or no interest in traditional lovemaking. This creates a dilemma when you have a partner because you must maintain a traditional sexual relationship on some level and fetish behavior interferes with sexual functioning and will sabotage your efforts. You may fantasize about your fetish during love making to be stimulated enough to avoid being sexually dysfunctional.


Fetishistic love making is not love making at all. It is a refracted way for you to experience sexual pleasure. It recreates the primal events that are the basis for the existence of your fetish, such as events that made you feel humiliated and worthless. It gives you the illusion of either being in complete control (being dominant), or it gives you the illusion that you are being made worthy through repeated desired punishment (being submissive). During and after the fetish expression, though you experience a great release and feel good, the fetish expression not only does not repair the damage to your sense of self, but also reinforces it. This will be a fruitless endeavor without end, because as long as your fetishes are in front of you and not behind you, then you will seek out partners to either dispense or receive these expressions which ultimately are repeated assaults to your psyche. You must indulge your fetishes whether it is in fantasy or in actual expression. If you ignore or repress the urges, they will keep coming back stronger, and more forcefully than before, until they are somehow expressed. You may be living a secret life and possibly paying someone to act out your fetishes. You may even have chosen an occupation related to your fetish.   <>

Fetish of No Fetish

There are times when people compare making love with the drama of fetish expression. However they are two separate entities and cannot be compared. Making love, for example, is based on love, while fetish expression, for example, is based on harm. Not knowing the difference, people do compare, having the conclusion, that fetish expression during lovemaking is more exciting because of the drama.


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Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE



CAUSES

 

BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES

There are three basic causes of sexual dysfunctions / fetishes. Regardless of the cause, anxiety is always present. 

Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues

When you have a sexual dysfunction caused by performance anxiety and non-conflict issues it means you are fearful that you will be unable to make love (desire, arousal, orgasm) without any problems. You can be especially anxious if you have had sexual difficulties before.

The likelihood of a sexual dysfunction is greater than not in inexperienced men. Generally, increased performance anxiety leads to sexual failure. As sexual comfort decreases, sexual anxiety increases. If you think you cannot make love, then you cannot make love. With men and sex, the worst fears will always come true.

You should do the appropriate sex therapy exercise. If you have more than one sexual dysfunction, then follow the ‘Priority Order to Remedy Sexual Dysfunctions’.


Once you overcome these performance anxiety and non-conflict issues, along with doing the appropriate sex therapy exercises, your sexual dysfunctions will be remedied.

Frank's Story

Frank and his partner, Linda, are excited about making love. He dims the lights and puts soft music on. He undresses and gets into bed while Linda goes into the bathroom to put on that sexy red outfit you love. Frank’s erection is poking at the sheets as he is so eager and enthusiastic, and oh so ready! He smiles as Linda calls out to him that she’s coming to bed in seconds. But then suddenly Frank remembers the last time he made love, when he was sexually dysfunctional. Now he can feel those physiological changes take place. His erection weakens. As Linda dances out of the bathroom, Frank mutters something about being too tired, adding not tonight honey. Feeling depressed, devastated and hopeless, he rolls over and falls asleep.

Then Frank woke up during the night and as he lay there, he realized he had the strongest erection ever. He was so ready to make love, but he waited a few minutes more to be sure that he really are so ready. Another five minutes go by and Frank feels good! He feels so very good! He gently wakes up Linda and says he wants to make love and she says yes! Life is good! Life is very good! And so as Frank starts to make love, he remembers the last time when he made love and he was sexually dysfunctional. Again, Frank feels the physiological changes take place. Again his erection weakens. And so, Frank mutters something to Linda about being so tired that he just wants to go back to sleep. Feeling depressed, devastated, and hopeless, Frank rolls over and stays awake.


Conflict Issues

Conflict issues are psychological struggles within you. Anxiety is always present. These conflicts and the reasons why, need to be identified and remedied. Once your conflicts are remedied (ex. Abuse) along with doing the appropriate sex therapy exercises, generally your sexual dysfunctions / fetishes will be remedied.

Jack's Story

Jack was married to Margaret. Generally after watching television for a few hours he would go to bed. Margaret would stand in the doorway of the bedroom and demand that he have sex with her. Jack knew if he met his wife’s demand for sex, he would as always suffer her verbal onslaught and psychological castration, as she always told him that his love making was a pis-poor performance. But, Jack also knew, if he didn’t meet her demand for sex, his days ahead would be gruesome at best. During times when they would make love, Margaret would shoot reasons at him as to why she should and would be unfaithful to him, adding “So Jack, you call yourself a real man!” Well, eventually Margaret did leave Jack for another man. Jack felt so unloved and unwanted. These feelings stirred up memories from childhood, when his mother either ignored him or told him how worthless he was. Jack thought about all of his relationships and realized there had never been a woman who loved him, who really loved him. And why should anyone love him, he thought, after all, his own mother didn’t! He had feelings of deep sadness and desperateness coupled with intense feelings of resentment and anger toward his mother, Margaret, and all women. He just couldn’t trust any of them, beginning with his mother. He decided that he would never let another one of them hurt him. The next time he was with a woman, he would be in total control.

Then along came Carol, who became his second wife. Most of Jack’s conversations with Carol began with him saying, “Carol, if you really loved me . . . or Carol, you can really prove your love for me by . . .  or Carol, I am your husband and you better . . .” She had to account for every minute of every day that she was away from him. On a typical day, she had to call Jack as soon as she arrived at work. She had to call him when she went to lunch and returned, reporting what she ate for lunch, where, and with whom. She had to call him when she was leaving work to go home. It was another call if Carol had to make any stops along the way, or if she got stuck in traffic. Jack demanded that Carol give him unconditional love and uncompromising obedience! Though she didn’t like living this way, Carol tolerated it because she was afraid he would leave her as her first husband did. She would never forget that morning when she woke up and found a note on his pillow that simply read ‘Goodbye’! Carol had promised herself when she met Jack that she would let him do whatever he wanted so as not to be left alone again.

Medical and Medication Issues

When you have medical conditions and need to take medications, it can interfere with sexual functioning. Ask your doctor if a change in medicine is possible. Also you can do the appropriate sex therapy exercise because up to a certain degree it will help because of your performance anxiety.

SPECIFIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES

You can have one or multiple causes of your sexual dysfunctions / fetishes. It’s important to identify any and all the causes to be able to remedy your sexual dysfunctions / fetishes.

1.      Abuse and Neglect Issues mean that you were psychologically / physical harmed as a child. It also means that you were or are being psychologically / physical harmed as an adult.

2.      Allergies

3.      Anxiety Disorders: i.e. Panic Attacks, Panic Disorder, Psych asthenia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD / Flashbacks, Thoughts, Dreams Recollections, Reduced response to antidepressants.

4.      Arthritis

5.      Autoimmune Diseases: i.e. Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis

6.      Bereavement Issues means that you are grieving over the loss of a loved one. Widower’s Syndrome means that you are unable to stop grieving over the loss of your partner.

7.      Cancer

8.      Caretaker of Your Partner Issues means that since you started to care for your sick partner, you don’t have sexual feelings for her anymore.

9.      Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

10.  Cognitive Disorders

11.  Communication Issues means that you are unable to talk to your partner.

12.  Constant Love Making Issues means that your partner believes you should always want to, and always be ready, to make love.

13.  Creation Issues means that your partner cannot agree about having a baby or not, abortion and birth control. 

14.  Daughter and Father Issues mean that you are disturbed about the fact that when your daughter is an adult, men will want to have sex with her. If you have used women for sex, your disturbance will be magnified.

15.  Diabetes

16.  Dissociative Disorders: i.e. Amnesia, Dissociative Identity Disorder.

17.  Eating Disorders: Obesity.

18.  Fatigue Issues mean that you make love even when you are too tired.

19.  Fear of Intimacy Issues means that you have a fear of being emotionally close and vulnerable to your partner.

20.  Fetish Issues means that you have problems with arousal during fetishistic love making / masturbating. You have recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors regarding:

21.  Fibromyalgia

22.  Gastrointestinal Problems

23.  Gender Identity Issues means you feel that you were born the wrong sex.

24.  Guilt Issues means that you have feelings of guilt about anything and so the sexual dysfunctions exist to punish yourself.

25.  Headaches: Migraines

26.  Hepatitis

27.  Heart Disease

28.  High Blood Pressure

29.  Intimacy Issues means that you are afraid of being emotionally close and vulnerable to your partner.

30.  Irritable Bowel Syndrome

31.  Liver Problems

32.  Madonna-Whore Complex Issues means that you feel it would be disrespectful to ask your partner to perform certain sexual acts.

33.  Male Sexual Dysfunctions Issues means that you have problems with desire / arousal / orgasm.

34.  Marital Status Issues means that the likelihood of sexual dysfunctions is greater than not in men who have been recently separated, divorced, or widowed.

35.  Masturbation Issues:

a.       Masturbation as no other choice means that you masturbate because your partner does not want to make love.

b.      Masturbation as obstruction means you masturbate more than you make love and because of this you have conditioned your body to function sexually fine only in this way. You masturbate very hard and fast which has desensitized your penis. This masturbation technique cannot be translated into making love.

c.       Masturbation preference means that you have a preference for masturbation, rather than making love even though making love is an option.

36.  Mood Disorders: i.e. Depression, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder.

37.  Motor Skills Disorder: i.e. Developmental Problems.

38.  Musculoskeletal Problems

39.  Neurological Problems

40.  Negative Aspects of Partner Issues means that you are focused on negative aspects of your partner.

41.  New Sexual Partner Issues means that you feel anxious when making love with someone new. Most men find that the first few times they make love with someone new, they experience sexual problems.

42.  Partner Pleasure Knowledge Issues means that your partner believes you are supposed to automatically know what will sexually please.

43.  Partner VS. Partner Issues means that you are sexually dysfunctional with one partner but sexually fine with another partner.

44.  Patient Resistance Issues means that you believe you want to remedy your sexual dysfunctions but you sabotage the therapy, such as, by not doing the sex therapy exercise or by doing the sex therapy exercise but not following the guidelines.

45.  Penis Issues:

a.       You feel your penis is inadequate in some way, such as, you think your penis is too small.

b.      You think of your penis as a separate entity with a mind of its own. Thinking like this causes frustration about being able to control your body, to control your penis. And yet at the same time, thinking this way makes it easier for you to tolerate sexual dysfunctions because in a sense, if your penis has a mind of its own, then it’s out of your control.

c.       You had a medical procedure performed to your penis. Studies have been conducted with the possible determination that medical procedures to a penis, such as, circumcision, vasectomy, or penis enlargement, can be perceived by the patient’s mind as damage done to his penis.

46.  Personality Disorders: i.e. Borderline Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder / Antisocial traits, Passive/Aggressive Personality Disorder.

47.  Pornographic and Unrealistic Sexual Expectation Issues means that you / your partner believe the sex scenes in pornographic movies and the actors’ sexual performance are true to life and expect that when making love.

48.  Pressure by Partner Issues means that your partner wants to make love more than you want to.

49.  Privacy Issues means that you do not have enough privacy when making love.

50.  Psychological Disorders means that you have problems with mental disorders. The most common mental disorders related to sexual disorders are: anxiety, depression, mood, personality, sleep or substances.

51.  Religious Backgrounds and Beliefs Issues:

a.       You have feelings of guilt because you practice sexual acts that go against your religious beliefs.

b.      You have feelings of guilt because of the nature of sexual thoughts, fantasies, and acts.

52.  Resentment Issues means that you have feelings of resentment toward your partner and so your sexual dysfunctions exist as a punishment for your partner.

53.  Respiratory Problems

54.  Schizophrenia and Other Psychotic Disorders: i.e. Schizophrenia, Psychosis.

55.  Sexual Menu Issues:

a.       You are uncertain about your sexual orientation.

b.      You are conflicted about your sexual orientation.

56.  Sexual Orientation Issues means that you are attracted to people of the same sex.

57.  Sexual Pleasure Issues means that you have feelings of guilt because of engaging in pleasurable sexual activities while at the same time someone you love is going through a hard time.

58.  Sexual Practices Issues means that you want to make love and not ejaculate for a long time so you hold your ejaculation back.

59.  Sleep Disorders: i.e. Nightmare Disorder, Difficulty / disturbance / disruption in sleep.

60.  Somatoform Disorders: i.e. Somatic Disorder, Pain Disorder.

61.  Spectatoring Issues means that you watch yourself when you make love because you are anxious and want to see how you are doing.

62.  Stress Issues means that you are under pressure about something and unable to stop thinking about it even when you make love.

63.  Stroke

64.  Substance Related Disorders: i.e. Alcohol, Drugs, and Nicotine.

65.  Ulcerative Colitis

66.  Ulcers

67.  Victim of Sexual Trauma Association Issues means you are close to someone who was sexually assaulted.


GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES

 

Disclaimer: These true life tales are from my patient files from 1990 - 2004. All personal information, and sometimes the details within a scenario, have been changed or altered to maintain confidentiality, and to protect the privacy and identity of my patients and their families, especially children. Any similarity or resemblance to actual people living or dead, events, or details, is entirely coincidental.

Abuse and Fetishes

If a man was abused in any way, it’s not unusual for him to fantasize about that abuse to be sexually functioning either during masturbation or sex. This happens even if the man has any feelings of guilt such as thinking about his mother. He also may not want to ever be sexually aroused functioning. A man may feel awkward about any kind of touch and affection in that he wants to cuddle with a woman but may feel repulsed at the same time. He may feel also that women are emotionally dangerous and they cannot be trusted and have feelings such as hostility and resentment toward women.

When a man was abused it’s not unusual for him to have a fetish which is a re-enactment of the abuse, even those things he didn’t suffer. In order for him to be sexually functioning he may need to: peep; smell a woman’s dirty underwear; do oral sex to a strap-on dildo; cross-dress; treated as a slut; called a sissy boy and a dirty pig, told worthless and cannot do anything right; anal sex with a strap-on dildo; be urinated on; lick a woman’s feet clean; be defecated on; wear diapers; tied up; blindfolded; nipple and cock and ball torture / clothespins clipped up and down and all around penis and testicles and then one by one pulled off quickly / vice is screwed tightly on penis; enema; wear panties with crotch over nose; tampon inserted into his anal area’ bitten

Miscellaneous

Reasons other than abuse for sexual dysfunctions are: partner is not affectionate’ unfaithfulness; being a caretaker for a sick partner; frequency of sex; penis size concerns; loss of job; abortion disagreement; no love; fear of being alone; making love time and acts discrepancies; sexual fantasies; not feeling loved; grief; depression and attempted suicide; being negatively sexually compared; loss of attraction; pain deliberately inflicted during sex.


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Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE



ARTICLES


 

SEX THERAPY ARTICLE

 

SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE

 



Top

Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE




SEX THERAPY

 

MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS

The following exercises will help you to rid yourself of sexual dysfunctions.

Guidelines


  • Be consistent.
  • You must do the sex therapy exercises every other day or every third day at the most.
  • You must be mentally stimulated (e.g., fantasies, pornographic films, magazines) in the same way every time you do the sex therapy exercises.
  • You must do sex therapy exercises through masturbation because this is a non-pressure situation.
  • You must use the same lubricant (e.g., baby oil, KY Jelly) every time you do the sex therapy exercises because you need to simulate intercourse.

Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy

When you have a single sexual dysfunction, then do that sex therapy exercise. However, if you have multiple sexual dysfunctions, there is a priority order in which the sex therapy exercises should be done in order to remedy all of the sexual dysfunctions.

  1. Sexual Aversion Disorder
  2. Premature Ejaculation
  3. Male Orgasmic Disorder
  4. Combination Male Orgasmic Disorder with Premature Ejaculation
  5. Male Erectile Disorder
  6. Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
HYPOACTIVE SEXUAL DESIRE DISORDER

·         You have little or no desire to make love.

·         You lose your desire before ejaculation when you make love.

·         Your sexual urges, fantasies, or making love, are happening less than twice a month.


Note: You do not need a partner for this sex therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you do have a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise because it will create anxiety!

  1. Mentally stimulate yourself.
  2. If you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day.
  3. If you do feel comfortable, then masturbate to orgasm.
  4. If you do not get that far, it’s okay. Try it another day.

SEXUAL DESIRE DISORDER


·         You have an aversion or revulsion to making love. You have an irrational fear of making love.

Note: You do need a partner for parts of this sex therapy exercise. Do not make love during or after this exercise because it will create anxiety!

Expose yourself to that aspect that you have an aversion to, or an irrational fear of a little at a time. Move at your own pace. Do not rush yourself. Do not move onto the next step until you are completely comfortable. Be as consistent as is possible. Do the appropriate exercise as often as your partner is agreeable, but still on a regular basis.


Masturbation

 

1.      Use a lubricant of your choice and begin by gently stroking your genitals.

2.      If you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day.

3.      If you do feel comfortable, then continue and masturbate to orgasm.

4.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

5.      Try it another day.


Touch & Oral Sex

You touching your partner’s genitals

 

1.      Begin by getting close to your partner’s genitals.

2.      If you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day.

3.      If you do feel comfortable, then lightly touch your partner’s genitals.

4.      Once you feel totally comfortable with this then put your mouth close to your partner’s genitals.

5.      Once you feel totally comfortable with this then put your mouth on your partner’s genitals.

6.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

7.      Try it another day.

Your partner touching your genitals

 

1.      Begin by letting your partner get close to your genitals.

2.      If you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day.

3.      If you do feel comfortable, then let your partner lightly touch your genitals.

4.      Once you feel totally comfortable with this then let your partner put her mouth close to your genitals.

5.      Once you feel totally comfortable with this then let your partner put her mouth on your genitals.

6.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

7.      Try it another day.


Intercourse

 

1.      Begin by getting close to your partner’s genitals.

2.      If you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day.

3.      If you do feel comfortable, then place your genitals close to your partner’s genitals.

4.      If you do feel comfortable, then place your genitals on your partner’s genitals.

5.      If you do feel comfortable, then begin to have intercourse.

6.      If you do feel comfortable, then complete intercourse to orgasm.

7.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

8.      Try it another day.

MALE ERECTILE DISORDER


·         You are unable to attain erections when making love.

·         You have weak erections when making love.

·         You have erections on and off when making love.

·         You are unable to maintain adequate erections to complete intercourse to ejaculation when making love.


Note: You do not need a partner for this sex therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you do have a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise because it will create anxiety!

1st Step

 

1.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

2.      Stop before you get the feeling to ejaculate.

3.      Stopping means taking your hand away from your penis.

4.      Do not think about sex at all.

5.      You may or may not have an erection.

6.      It’s okay if you don’t.

7.      In time you will.

8.      If you did have an erection, during this stopping time, your erection may go down.

9.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay. Try it another day.

2nd Step

1.      Once your erection goes down, put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

2.      Stop before you get the feeling to ejaculate.

3.      Stopping means taking your hand away from your penis.

4.      Do not think about sex at all.

5.      You may or may not have an erection.

6.      It’s okay if you don’t.

7.      In time you will.

8.      If you did have an erection, during this stopping time, your erection may go down.

9.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

10.  Try it another day.

3rd Step

 

1.      Now for the last time, put the lubricant on your penis.

2.      Masturbate to ejaculation.

3.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

4.      Try it another day.


MALE ORGASMIC DISORDER


·         You are unable to ejaculate when making love.

·         You get the feeling to ejaculate, but then lose the feeling when making love.

Note: You do not need a partner for this sex therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you do have a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise because it will create anxiety!

 

1.      Put the lubricant on your penis.

2.      Mentally stimulate yourself.

3.      Masturbate until you ejaculate.

4.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

5.      Try it another day.

PREMATURE EJACULATION

 

·         You ejaculate within 5 minutes or less when making love.

·         You ejaculate before you desire when making love.


Note: You do not need a partner for this sex therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you do have a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise because it will create anxiety!

1st Start and Stop

 

1.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

2.      You should get the feeling to ejaculate within 5 minutes or less.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass. 

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex therapy exercise again.

2nd Start and Stop

 

1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 2nd stop, then do not try this exercise again in the same day.

11.  To do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating, or be unable to ejaculate.

3rd Start and Stop

 

1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 3rd stop, then do not try this exercise again in the same day.

11.  To do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating or be unable to ejaculate.

4th Start to Ejaculation

 

1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate to ejaculation.

3.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

4.      Try it another day.


COMBINATION MALE ORGASMIC DISORDER

·         You take a long time to ejaculate when making love.

·         You are unable to ejaculate when making love.

·         You get the feeling to ejaculate, but then lose the feeling when making love.

AND AT OTHER TIMES

·         You ejaculate within 5 minutes or less when making love.

·         You ejaculate before you desire when making love.


Note: You do not need a partner for this sex therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you do have a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise because it will create anxiety!

Note: If the Male Orgasmic Disorder happens first or more often, then do that exercise first. If the Premature Ejaculation happens first or more often, then do that exercise first.

MALE ORGASMIC DISORDER

 

1.      Put the lubricant on your penis.

2.      Mentally stimulate yourself.

3.      Masturbate until you ejaculate.

4.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

5.      Try it another day.


PREMATURE EJACULATION

For 2 weeks or until you can complete it, do the 1st step and 4th step.

1st Start and Stop


      1.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

2.      You should get the feeling to ejaculate within 5 minutes or less.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass. 

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex therapy exercise again.


4th Start to Ejaculation 

      1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate to ejaculation.

3.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

4.      Try it another day.


When you have gotten this far,

Then for the next 2 weeks or until you complete it, do the 1st step, 2nd step and 4th step.


1st Start and Stop

      1.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

2.      You should get the feeling to ejaculate within 5 minutes or less.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass. 

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex therapy exercise again.


2nd Start and Stop 

      1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 2nd stop, then do not try this exercise again in the same day.

11.  To do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating, or be unable to ejaculate.


4th Start to Ejaculation

      1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate to ejaculation.

3.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

4.      Try it another day.

When you have gotten this far,

Then for the next 2 weeks or until you can complete it, do the 1st step, 2nd step, 3rd step and 4th.

1st Start and Stop


      1.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

2.      You should get the feeling to ejaculate within 5 minutes or less.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex therapy exercise again.


2nd Start and Stop

      1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 2nd stop, then do not try this exercise again in the same day.

11.  To do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating, or be unable to ejaculate.


3rd Start and Stop

      1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate.

3.      When you get the feeling that you are close to ejaculation, stop.

4.      The way that you stop is to take your hand away from your penis.

5.      Take a couple of deep breaths, and wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

6.      You might lose your erection.

7.      This is normal.

8.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

9.      Try it another day.

10.  If you ejaculate before this 3rd stop, then do not try this exercise again in the same day.

11.  To do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating or be unable to ejaculate.


4th Start to Ejaculation

      1.      Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to pass.

2.      Put the lubricant on your penis and masturbate to ejaculation.

3.      If you do not get that far, it’s okay.

4.      Try it another day.


SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS WHEN MASTURBATING

 

·         You are sexually dysfunctional when you masturbate but not when you make love.

·         You have a conflict because masturbation is a non-pressure situation.


Note: You must first identify and remedy the conflict and then generally your sexual dysfunctions remedy themselves. If they do not, then do the appropriate sex therapy exercise for the sexual dysfunction you are experiencing.

SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS WHEN USING A CONDOM


·         You are sexually dysfunctional only when you use a condom.

Note: Generally it’s because the condom is uncomfortable. Try different condoms to find the one that is the least uncomfortable. Once you do this, than masturbate using the condom until you find a comfort level. Then when you make love with the condom you will be sexually functional. If this does not happen, you have a conflict which means that you must first identify and remedy the conflict and then generally your sexual dysfunctions remedy themselves. If they do not, then do the appropriate sex therapy exercise for the sexual dysfunction you are experiencing.

FETISHES


Conflict Issues


Fetishes are caused by conflict issues which are psychological struggles within you.

Sex therapy for fetishes begins with being in therapy to identify your conflicts and the reasons why you have these conflicts. Most times the reason for fetishes is based on having been abused as a child. Once your conflicts are remedied (e.g. abuse) your fetishes will be remedied. If you also have sexual dysfunctions they will be remedied also.

 While in therapy, if you also have sexual dysfunctions you can do the appropriate sex therapy exercise for sexual dysfunctions which may help with your anxiety.




Top

Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE




STATISTICS

 

 

MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS


# of Men & Male Sexual Dysfunctions

104      Male Erectile Disorder, Premature Ejaculation

207      Premature Ejaculation

8          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder

1                    Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Sexual Aversion Disorder

4          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder

1          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder

11        Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder,

Premature Ejaculation

5          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder, Premature Ejaculation

2          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation

8          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Premature Ejaculation

1          Sexual Aversion Disorder

85        Male Erectile Disorder

47        Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder

64        Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation

31        Male Orgasmic Disorder

44        Male Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation

25        Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s)


# of Men & Age Span & Predominant Age

108      30 to 39           predominant age 39

1          19

71        20 to 29           predominant age 28

92        40 to 49           predominant age 45

48        50 to 59           predominant age 50

28        60 to 69           predominant age 60

6          70 to 79           predominant age 72

4          80 to 89           predominate age 82

276      age unknown



# of Men & Marital Status

223      1st Marriages

74        single

21        single in a relationship

3          engaged

         2nd marriages

11        separated

38        divorced

63        end of relationship

2          divorced in a relationship

10        widowed

4          miscellaneous

259      marital statuses unknown


# of Men & Time Span from Realization / Onset of Sexual Dysfunction(s) until Seeking Therapy

43        2 Years / Couple of Years

1          3 - 4 weeks

1          1 month

10        2 months / couple of months

6          3 months / few months

3          3 - 4 months

2          4 months

2          5 months

1          5 - 6 months

15        6 months

2          6 - 7 months

1          6 months - 1 year

1          7 months

3          8 months

1          8 - 9 months

1          9 months

1          9 months - 1 year

24        1 year

2          1 year on and off

9          1 - 2 years

1          2 - 3 years

10        3 years / few years

1          3 years / few years on and off

11        3 - 4 years

2          4 years

6          5 years

1          5 - 6 years

6          6 years

1          6 years on and off

1          7 years

2          8 years

1          9 years

1          10 years

2          12 years

1          20 years

1          25 years

1          30 years

23        always

2          always on and off

8          awhile

35        long time

2          long time on and off

1          many years

3          most of his life

8          on and off

387      time span unknown


FETISHES


# of Men & Fetishes

17        Sexual Masochism (Predominant Single Fetish)

5          Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism (Predominant Multiple Fetishes)

2          Fetishism

1          Infantilism

5          Partialism

2          Transvestic Fetishism

1          Zoophilia

1          Exhibitionism and Fetishism and Frotteurism and Sexual Masochism and Urophilia

1          Infantilism and Sexual Masochism

2          Sexual Masochism and Urophilia


# of Men & Age Span & Predominant Age

4          30 to 39           predominant age 33

1          20 to 29           predominant age 26

2          40 to 49           no predominant age

1          50 to 59           predominant age 52

29        age unknown


# of Men & Marital Status

info lost  1st Marriage

2          single

2          divorced

2          separated

24        marital status unknown


# of Men & Time Span from Realization / Onset of Sexual Dysfunction(s) until Seeking Therapy

37        time span unknown


MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES


# of Men & Sexual Dysfunctions and Fetishes

9          Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism

1          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder & Partialism

1          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Voyeurism

1          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism

1          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism

1          Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Exhibitionism

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Exhibitionism and Fetishism and Frotteurism and Sexual Masochism and Urophilia

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Exhibitionism and Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Partialism

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Partialism and Sexual Masochism

8          Male Erectile Disorder & Sexual Masochism

2          Male Erectile Disorder & Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Sexual Sadism

1          Male Erectile Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Exhibitionism

4          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Sexual Masochism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Urophilia

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism, Sexual Masochism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation &  Partialism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism, Sexual Masochism

6          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism, Sexual Sadism

2          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism, Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Exhibitionism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation, & Exhibitionism and Partialism and Sexual Masochism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism and Sexual Masochism

1          Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism and Sexual Masochism

1          Male Orgasmic Disorder & Fetishism

5          Male Orgasmic Disorder & Sexual Masochism

2          Male Orgasmic Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism

1          Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism

1          Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Transvestic Fetishism

1          Premature Ejaculation & Coprophilia and Fetishism and Partialism and Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism

1          Premature Ejaculation & Coprophilia and Fetishism and Partialism and Transvestic Fetishism

1          Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism and Partialism

1          Premature Ejaculation & Klismaphilia and Sexual Masochism

?          Premature Ejaculation & Klismaphilia and Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism and Urophilia

3          Premature Ejaculation & Partialism

2          Premature Ejaculation & Partialism and Sexual Masochism

1          Premature Ejaculation & Partialism and Transvestic Fetishism

5          Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism

3          Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism

3          Premature Ejaculation & Transvestic Fetishism

3          Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Fetish(es)

1          Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Sexual Masochism

1                    Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Sexual Masochism, Urophilia

1                    Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Unspecified Fetish(es)



# of Men & Age Span & Predominant Age

11        40 to 49           no predominant age

1          20 to 29           predominant age 28

9          30 to 39           predominant age 33

4          50 to 59           predominant age 50

56        age unknown


# of Men & Marital Status

19        1st Marriage

6          single in a relationship

18        single

4          divorced

2          separated

2          widowed

40        marital status unknown


# of Men & Time Span from Realization / Onset of Sexual Dysfunction(s) until Seeking

Therapy

5          Always

         6 months

1          8 - 9 months

1          1 year

3          1 - 2 years

4          2 years / couple of years

1          10 years

1          long time

73        time span unknown

 


The End




Top

Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE





About Me: My Professional Life
Rosalie Marie Musumeci, CHT, D.D., D.M.
Certified Hypnotherapist * Mental Health Counselor re: 1990 Internship * Doctor of Divinity * Doctor of Metaphysics
Email:
thepsycheworkshop@gmail.com




The Psyche Workshop The Psyche Workshop
Facebook: Bless the Abused  Bless the Abused
Facebook: Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy  Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

MY MISSION STATEMENT


My captivation with the mind, together with my humanitarian nature, my varied professional training and experiences, my therapy talents, and through my past and ongoing extensive research and studies, has guided me on a journey in which I am blessed in that I am able to help people. In addition, through my personal past, I have learned to turn my misery into time well spent. Helping others has always been where my heart is and my lifelong desire, both personally and professionally. My goal is to continue on this path.

PRIVATE PRACTICE
In-Person Private Practice: 1990 to 2004.
Since then all Therapy Sessions via Telephone / Online / Email.

CERTIFICATIONS & CERTIFICATES & COMPLETED NON-CERTIFICATE COURSES & IN-PROCESS STUDYING

 
Certifications

Certified Hypnotherapist, CHT Divinity Degree Ministerial Ordination Certificate, D.D.
Doctor of Metaphysics Certificate, D.M. Mental Health Counselor for Abuse via Internship

Certificates

Bystanders Protecting Children from Boundary Violations and Sexual Abuse Certificate Child Abuse Mandated Reporter Training for New York State Certificate
Child Sexual Abuse and the Commercial Exploitation of Children Certificate Domestic Violence Certificate
Healthy Touch for Children and Youth Certificate Pebble in the Pond: Factors in Multi-Generational, Childhood Sexual Abuse Victimization Certificate
Steward of Children Certificate Talking with Children about Safety from Sexual Abuse Certificate


Completed Non-Certificate Courses
Crash Chakra Dream Interpretation from Primitives to C.G. Jung and Sigmund Freud
Introduction to Psychoanalysis Law of Attraction
Meditation 101 Mind Power Secrets
Past Life Regression Psychic Mini Course
Quantum Cookbook (Untold Secrets of Manifesting) Reiki Practitioner for Healing Level 1
Science of Mind What is Metaphysics

AWARDS AND HONORS

2000 Notable American Women The World Who’s Who of Women
Manchester Who’s Who among Executive and Professional Women in Psychology, Mental Health and Human Wellness The Marquis Who’s Who of American Women

SOCIAL MEDIA

Facebook Page: Bless the Abused
 

Facebook: Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy  Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

CREATIVE WORKS

My Art Works consist of original drawings, created and used in my literary projects.


My Literary Works
are predominantly fiction, poetry and nonfiction. Many of the fiction and poetry works are psychological dilemmas, based on life situations (e.g., conflict and resolution). My nonfiction works are about abuse, male sexual disorders and elder care. Whenever possible, I have included self-help guides.

Heart-Steps Therapy

I became a therapist in 1990 and through my studies and internships with psychologists, social workers and numerous mental health professionals, I opened my own practice and started to treat my own patients. I soon came to realize that with my training was incomplete evident in the fact that there were times I was unable to help someone. Predominantly my patients were men who had been abused as children / had been abused as adults / were still being abused. My patients may or may not have recreated abuse, but either way they suffered consequences of their sense of self, emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy problems. I aggressively researched and then more times than not, I was able to identify the root cause of any psychological problem during my patients first session. In fact, psychologists and social workers consulted with me and referred their patients to me. During the time of my practice, I saw my patients, wrote articles which were published, did radio interviews, lectured a few times at a hospital and had speaking engagements at libraries. Also during my practice I created "Heart-Steps Therapy" because I wanted to help myself and others who had been abused or suffered other psychological traumas / conflict-based issues. I wanted to use my heart, soul and mind to embrace those who have suffered and my voice to speak for those who couldn’t. This is a therapy blueprint which helped me and others who suffered psychological traumas / conflict-based issues. My sessions were in-person but due to the nature of sexual dysfunctions, many men were anywhere from inappropriate in-person. After a number of years, I resumed my practice only online.


This is a place where you can tell your story which will help you and others or just chat. This is also a place for awareness and support. It's private and confidential. You do not have to use your real name.

The Double-Edged Pencil

This is a psychological thriller, about a writer who has again received a rejection notice from a publisher. As she sits down to write a letter of rage to this editor, her every word becomes a new manuscript that takes on a life of its own.
Lady move...

This is a funny rendition about my denial about overeating. I try to convince myself that I don’t have a problem, as I eat, and eat, and eat, until I am faced with the harsh reality of my weight.

Male Romance Scammers Online

I
decided I wanted to date and signed up at a few online dating sites.Well I did find men but they were all known as Romance Scammers. Let me state up front that I did not send any money or anything to these scammers. All of these men were either architects or engineers; worked out of the US; lost their dear wives a few years ago. All of these men declared their undying love for me with about a week or two. In addition, most of these men asked me for money within the same time frame. They were scammers looking for money from me. There was a scammer who wanted a birthday party for himself and his son on me. There was a scammer who asked for money to get home to his son who felt abandoned. There was a scammer who asked for itunes cards and on and on and on. I did find one of these men on a scammer site. It's important to note that the pictures of these scammers were stolen from real people, one of which I found. So be careful and hopefully through my site and sharing other sites and web pages you will not be scammed.


This is a study about abuse and neglect in elder care facilities. In February 2008 my mom became sick.
Within a short time she found it more and more difficult to walk and so the hospital advised she go for rehabilitation at a nursing home for a few weeks, before she would return back home to us. So began the search for a nursing home and rehabilitation center. It quickly became clear to me that my mom and other people in need would probably fair better very slowly crossing the street at a red light. My opinion sounds pretty drastic, doesn't it? Well my research left me in a fatal state of dismay and disgust. This is my research study about Nursing Homes / Rehabilitation Facilities.
My mom stayed one night in the nursing home which was recommended by the hospital. My brother stayed with my mom for the one night she was there. They left first thing in the morning after my brother relentlessly all through the night kept asking for water for my mom which she never received.
There are between 16,000 and 18,000 nursing homes / rehabilitation centers in the U.S. I randomly selected one nursing home from each of the fifty states. As you read the deficiencies, I'm sure you will agree that the state of nursing homes is beyond belief, beyond anything we care to imagine, and yet, here it is! Still, I did wonder if it could be that in my random selection I picked the worst. I wish I could say that this is what happened. Caring for another should be so simple, especially for those people who chose to be in a caring profession. Shame on them! If you find yourself in such a situation, you will have to choose one. Ask questions! Ask many questions! Make the nursing home aware that you are aware! You must stay on top of it! Be relentless! There isn't any other choice! This is the sad truth about elder care!

Shadows of Tomorrow

This is a psychological thriller about a woman who finds herself caught in a world of betrayal as her best friend executes a plan to steal her husband. On a night darker than most, she cannot find any mercy as she is plummeted into a hell. 


Brothers Forever Together

This is about my sister’s children, my nephews, Michael, Steven and Matthew. Steven was 19 years old when he was died because of a drunk driver. Matthew was 1 year old when he died because of a medical malpractice. Michael is the brother who was able to survive the loss of his brothers. God bless you Michael.

Fact or Fiction

This is my rendition of how the protect and serve aspect of the law is not law after all. This is how it was played out when my son, Joseph Lozito, was viciously attacked by Maksim Gelman on a New York City subway on February 12, 2011. I also have pictures.

“Cremate me and throw my ashes down the sewer.”

This is about my brother, Joseph. My sisters and I knew he was depressed as we were, as we were all mourning the death of our mom on April 23, 2008. My brother, Joseph, lived in Pennsylvania and returned home after our mom’s funeral. My sisters and I called him almost every day and he sounded good, laughing and making us laugh. Joseph then met a woman I’ll refer to as TT. We begged him to move back to New York with us and in the end we did have him home but it was in a casket. This was because of the hell that TT put him through. His last written words were, "Cremate me and throw my ashes down the sewer".

Trouble in Paradise
Therapy for Men: Emotional and Sexual Intimacy
Sex Therapy for Male Sexual Dysfunctions and Fetishes

The Unraveling

This is a psychological thriller, about how one night casts a woman onto a path of fatal twists and turns to the point of no return.


LECTURES

Farmingdale Public Library, 116 Merritts Road, Farmingdale, New York 11735
Nassau University Medical Center, 2201 Hempstead Tpke., East Meadow, New York 11554
The Daytime, Nighttime, Lifetime Nightmares of Abuse - Domestic Psychological and Physical Assault - Male Sexual Disorders Statistical Study - Male Sexual Dysfunctions and Paraphilic Disorders - Male Sexual Matters - Scenarios - Trouble in Paradise

PUBLICATIONS

Long Island Lifestyles, 42 Broadway, Lynbrook, New York 11563: Male Sexuality - Sex Therapy - Sex Therapy Surrogate Services
Mental Health Advocates United, The Miami Herald (Florida): “Cremate me and throw my ashes down the sewer.”
New Worlds Unlimited, Saddle Brook, New Jersey 07662: My Love Keeper - Prisoner
Poetry Press, P.O. Box 736, Pittsburg, Texas 75686: The Garden Weeds
Potpourri International, P.O. Box 533, Exton, Pennsylvania 19341: The Mask

RADIO INTERVIEWS


WLIR, Jarad Syndication. 1103 Stewart Avenue, Garden City, New York 11530
Male Sexual Disorders Statistical Study - Male Sexual Dysfunctions and Paraphilic Disorders - Male Sexual Matters - Scenarios - Trouble in Paradise




Top

Table of Contents

EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
FEAR OF INTIMACY THERAPY FOR EMOTIONAL INTIMACY - SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES - TOUCH-TO-TOUCH EXERCISES

THE CALAMITY OF MAKING LOVE WITH SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - DESCRIPTIONS: MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES (Fetishistic Love Making, Fetish of No Fetish) - CAUSES: BASIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES (Performance Anxiety and Non-Conflict Issues, Conflict Issues, Medical and Medication Issues), SPECIFC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES,GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES - ARTICLES:  SEX THERAPY ARTICLE, SEX THERAPY SURROGATE SERVICES ARTICLE - SEX THERAPY MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS (Guidelines; Multiple Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy), FETISHES: Conflict Issues
MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS, FETISHES, MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES

ABOUT ME: MY PROFESSIONAL LIFE