counter

Share

Heart-Steps Therapy 4

This Heart-Steps Therapy will help you to learn to love yourself by repairing your damaged sense of self and distorted belief system of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. It also will help you to repair your maladaptive coping skills and behavior patterns.


Self-Expression Journal


Next
HST 5
Mind Theatre
Scripts
The Repair of Sense of Self Script
The Psychological Confrontation Script


Therapy Sessions

 If you would like to make an appointment, please Email: thepsycheworkshop@gmail.com and write “Session” in the subject area. I did see people in-person from 1990 to 2004 however I do not do in-person sessions anymore so in your email please state how you would like to communicate. You don’t have to use your real name initially. All sessions are private and confidential. And always remember you are not and never will be alone.

Subconscious Self-Expression

Conscious Self-Expression

These are the links to the other pages on the Psyche Workshop Website



Self-Expression Journal

You need lots of paper with lots of pens. Don’t allow yourself to have pencils because there will be no erasing! Whatever you write down first stays and if you reconsider, well that is too bad for you! I know this sounds harsh but your first thoughts always comes from deep inside of you. You cannot make excuses for anyone, not even yourself. You must write down everything. I mean everything! By doing this, you can see into your heart, soul and mind. This will tremendously help you during your healing and recovery.

Subconscious Self-Expression

Dreams

Dreams, nightmares, theme dreams and recurrent dreams are significant. There is a direct connection between life when awake and life when asleep. What is not revealed or noticed when you are awake will always be revealed in your my sleep through dreams that demand expression. Your dreams, nightmares, theme dreams and recurrent dreams represent what is happening and has happened in your life. You will learn that the way to analyze your dreams is to understand what the symbols mean to you. Yes, there are many dream books available which may be somewhat accurate but they are not personal to you.


Here are a few dreams I had when I was married to my ex-husband. These dreams in which I cannot speak are also represented in my drawings to follow.
  • I was at a party and everyone was having a great time. I'm in the middle of so many people and we are all talking and laughing! Suddenly I see my husband walk into the party. I cry out for help as I'm falling. I am grabbing onto the people I was just talking and lauging with but there isn't anyone who hears me, feels me or sees me anymore. My husband stands over me and shoots me with a gun. Still no one hears me or the gun shot or feels me pulling on their clothes or sees me.
  • I'm in a room and waiting for my husband. I'm talking to someone saying as soon as he arrives I am going to tell him off especially that I will not tolerate his abuse. I'm not screaming but talking very loud. When I see my husband walking toward me and when he is close, I open my mouth and nothing comes out! I am struggling to speak but I do not have any voice.
Conscious Self-Expression

Drawings

by Rosalie Marie Musumeci
Copyright © 1996 by Rosalie Marie Musumeci
All Rights Reserved.  No part of any art / literary content works herein may be reproduced (make copies), adapted (make new versions), distributed or published, performed in public, or displayed.


Drawing is very helpful in determining the pattern of your life, both the past and the present. Your drawings will show the basic nature of you and others. Draw yourself and then significant others in your life. Pay attention to where these people are in relation to you. Pay attention to where these people are in relation to each other. Also pay attention to the details of each person. Do they have eyes? Do they have mouths? Are they missing anything? Are they holding something? You have to pay attention to every detail.


Here are some drawings I drew about myself, husband and my children. My children and I were on one side of the page and my husband was on the other side of the page. None of us had mouths. My interpretation is that my children and I did not have mouths because we were afraid to talk to him and my husband was without a mouth because we didn’t want to hear his abusive words.

Drawing 1 is a baby who has a mouth but he or she does not talk yet. Drawing 2 is a lady looking in the mirror who does not have a mouth but her reflection does and reflections in mirrors do not talk. Drawing 3 is clown who has a mouth but mostly clowns do not talk.

In drawings 4 to 6, they each do not have mouths and should be able to talk. Again, to me, these drawing reflect my life with my husband in which I did not have a voice at all. And again, I did not make this connection for a long time.

1
2
3


4
5
6


Writings

Sticks and stones may break my bones but abuse will always harm me.
by Rosalie Marie Musumeci
Copyright © 1996 by Rosalie Marie Musumeci
All Rights Reserved.  No part of any art / literary content works herein may be reproduced (make copies), adapted (make new versions), distributed or published, performed in public, or displayed.

This is my poetry collection about being abused while married to my ex-husband.

Wedding Dress

When we were married, I stood before the mirror dressed in my wedding gown.
My dreams danced around me as I imagined what my life would be like with you.
I loved you so very much, and I believed that you loved me too.
Later that day we were married.
But then within a short time my smiles become tears.
At first I cried and cried, and made excuses for you as to why you were hurting me so badly.
Your unkind words troubled my heart, soul and mind.
And so, I shed my wedding dress for all my days, and wore instead my imaginary suit of armor around my heart to try to keep you out, to try to keep the pain out.
Alas, it was all in vain.

The Dark

I didn’t think I had to fear the dark, but you in disguises did embark.
And though at first you appeared to be kind, you lingered relentlessly to get me in time.
I didn’t beware you who had risen from hell.
I didn’t look deep into eyes, for I didn’t know the eyes always tell.

The Garden Weeds

My love was only for you, always for you.
I thought it could take away your sadness which was as the blackness of graves.
I thought it would destroy your pain which was cast upon you years ago, for years too long.
But your loveless love for me turned my heart into garden weeds destroying me and my love for you.
And so, the garden became one of horror, festering weeds of anger, and weeds of hate. It’s too late.

Magic Wand

You broke my heart and then spoke words empty of regret.
You pleaded with me to forgive you.
I did.
I did believe this illusion of you, even as you shoved me through tunnels of fresh wounds to the ever dark side of you.
I was fooled again and again, because as I looked into your eyes, I did not see your lies.
Your magic wand was as a double-edged sword.

Love Keeper

My heart flew away on a butterfly’s wings to you.
I thought you were the keeper of my love, the keeper of my life.
But instead my heart became trapped within the debris of you.

Masquerade of Mind

The sword of Damocles (impending doom) was carved into my destiny and so, I sought refuge in the masquerade of mind where I dwelled within the imperishable soul of me.
I was weary of your lunacy that had invaded my every breath.
But then you called my name.
I stood before you wearing the costume of the day, as I had done countless times before, which you had imposed upon me.
But this for years so long, too long and I fear I have misplaced the clothes that I am.
And so, I looked deeply into your eyes seeking me, believing you were my truth, but I saw nothing or no one looking back.

Kidnapped

You kidnapped my memories of love and visions of teddy bears and kisses and hugs, though they were mine.
I struggled through dreaded time and it was so unkind.
And my days were ‘there’, simply ‘there’, in a nowhere land of ‘just simply there’.
And in that place of nothingness, something-ness stood close to me bringing the darkness and the loss of hope into every morrow, with those memories of you of tears and sorrow.
Day in and day out, there was never a doubt of those sad tales of old, being told and retold, and those tales so sad and for me, too bad, too bad.
I searched for me, in all my days, but found instead, those empty sighs, and someone’s cries.
Though filled with doubt and dread and gloom, I peeked inside that mind room.
I crept and crawled and through it all, I closed my eyes, for fear to see, for fear to be.
But then I knew, I never knew, these empty sighs and someone’s cries, was really me.

My Dreams

You sought out my dreams so you could blow black ashes upon them.
My dreamless sleep and nightmares haunted my soul as a spirited spell and carved my demise profoundly upon all of my tomorrows.
You hung onto my heart, weighing it down as heavy as the torments you inflicted, as you angrily ripped at me and exploded into vivid colors of pain.
I was scattered, and shattered wherever my eyes saw me.
There I was again with my broken dreams and as they died, I then saw the abyss of you.

My Hopeless Hope

I always believed tomorrow’s dawn could have brought hope.
But because of you hope was never born and so with you hope was never ever.
You tripped my already unsteady feet making me fall and crippling my life.

The Mask
I could not see your eyes behind your mask as you roamed through my mind where the darkness was the deepest, as I dreaded your inevitable rendezvous with me.
You hovered impatiently, waiting to enter at a moment’s notice, to haunt, to prey, to stay.
As I peeked behind your mask, I shuttered, I shattered, because as I looked into his your eyes, I saw your reflection of me.

One True Kiss

Why couldn’t you just love me and pass through my thoughts gently?
Why did you leave me with a handful of emptiness, like hollows of empty spaces in time?
Kindness was not mine as you were as a raging bull, ripping me apart and tearing me to pieces.
I wish that with you, I would have had even one true kiss.

Nightmares

I am haunted by nightmares and I am afraid because there isn’t anyone to stand guard.
I try to sneak by as I tiptoe, but every step brings me closer to you, to yet another dagger impatiently waiting to be thrust deep into my soul.
I feel as if I am surrounded by fires that long to destroy me and in moments of unbearable pain, I almost beg them to.

Nothingness 


My eyes can’t see the birds and my ears can’t hear their song as I am damaged forever.
It does not matter how long I cry and wish it all away.
I am as a defiled flower, you have forgotten in the barren field of your heart.

To sleep, To die, To Nevermore cry 

To sleep, to die, to nevermore cry.
The dawn brings this day as the days before, deepening the wounds, rising up black before my eyes.
I cannot escape for nowhere can I hide from you.
These days appear as nights and I welcome the rain, the gray, as I dress in shades of you.
And when I couldn’t live with you anymore,
I told you as I did so many times before.
You fell to your knees, crying and resting your head upon my breasts that held my broken heart.
You grasped my hand and pledged your love to me and said that you were sorry.
You said that you would never hurt me again.
I made promises that I loved you and I stayed with you as I did so many times before.
But then, after days too few of happiness as so many times before, you inflicted on me all of the agony of all my yesterdays’ with you and I was swallowed alive as so many times before.
And when I couldn’t live with you anymore, I told you as I did so many times before.
You fell to your knees, crying and resting your head upon my breasts that held my broken heart.
You grasped my hand and pledged your love to me and said you were sorry.
You said that you would never hurt me again.
Finally I made no promise that I loved you and I did not stay with you anymore.
I feel as death, yet death itself eludes me though I cry out its name, though I cry out in vain.
Please, to sleep, to die, to nevermore cry.
To die.
To die.
Why not I?


End of Sticks and Stones may break my bones but abuse will always harm me.






Therapy Sessions

Home
The Psyche Workshop
Abuse and Consequences
The Psyche Workshop


These are the links to the other pages on The Psyche Workshop Website
Bless the Abused
Bless the Abused

Bless the Abused Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/blesstheabused/
Real stories of abuse.
Awareness and support.

You can tell your own story without using your name.
Heart-Steps Therapy Book
Heart-Steps Therapy Book

This Heart-Steps Therapy will help you to learn to love yourself by repairing your damaged sense of self and distorted belief system of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. It also will help you to repair your maladaptive coping skills and behavior patterns.

Heart-Steps Therapy 4
Self-Expression Journal

YOU ARE HERE
Tears of My Family
Tears of My Family
Fact or Fiction: On February 12, 2011 my son, Joseph Lozito, was viciously attacked by Maksim Gelman on a New York City subway. This is my rendition of how the protect and serve aspect of the law is not law after all. Brothers Forever Together: My sister lost two of her children. Steven was 19 years old when he was died because of a drunk driver. Matthew was 1 year old when he died because of a medical malpractice. Michael is the brother who was able to survive the loss of his brothers. God bless you Michael. "Cremate me and throw my ashes down the sewer": This is about my brother Joseph.
The Sad Truth about Elder Care
The Sad Truth about Elder Care
In February 2008 my mom became sick. Well my research left me in a fatal state of dismay and disgust. This is my research study about Nursing Homes / Rehabilitation Facilities.