Heart-Steps
Therapy HST You are not alone |
Bless the Abused | Male Romance Scammers Online | Tears of My Family | Sad Truth about Elder Care | Trouble in Paradise |
The Psyche Workshop's Heart-Steps Therapy As a therapist I
created
“Heart-Steps Therapy” which helped me and many others.
My therapy
blueprint will help you
in the following ways re: ABUSE of what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY By Copyright © 1990 by Rosalie Marie Musumeci |
Dedication
My Sweet Jim I would like to thank Jim Frasca for helping me and those who have been abused, through his kindness and compassion. Sweet Jim, I love you with the deepest part of my heart. |
T a b l e o f
C o n t e n t s |
DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and resulting FEELINGS and a DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. SELF-EXPRESSION JOURNAL & MIND THEATRE SCRIPTS
MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY DESCRIPTIONS & CAUSES & SEX THERAPYSTATISTICS IN ENDING |
Everything
that we see,
hear and experience is stored in our subconscious minds along with the
emotions
we felt at the time. It retains a
minute-to-minute record from the time of our very existence up to this
minute,
and this minute, and on and on. We experience this record as memories.
This
includes suffering abuse. Our subconscious minds reveal only those
events that
we are ready to face, but the mournful truth is that regardless if we
remember
or not, we will suffer the consequences of abuse.
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I BECAME A
THERAPIST![]() I wish I could remember that moment of
clarity: that moment I finally understood that something was terribly
wrong
with me and my life. I would celebrate and have a party and fall to my
knees
and thank God. But there wasn’t just one moment as I realized it was a
series
of many moments. It was falling down a well and the little by little
reaching
the top. And once I did that, at the moment of fully understanding, I wanted
to use my heart, soul and mind to embrace those who are or have
suffered abuse.
I wanted to use my voice to speak for those who couldn’t for so many
reasons.
So I studied to become a therapist and created a therapy blueprint
which helped
me and others in my therapy practice. This is therapy
specifically for people who are
suffering or have suffered abuse. Please make a commitment to begin
this
therapy and continue for as long as it takes because it can help you
more than
you can imagine. You may have to repeat it and that’s okay. MY MISSION STATEMENT My
captivation with the mind, together with my humanitarian nature, my
varied
professional training and experiences, my therapy talents, and through
my past
and ongoing extensive research and studies, has guided me on a journey
in which
I am blessed in that I am able to help people. In addition, through my
personal
past, I have learned to turn my misery into time well spent. Helping
others has
always been where my heart is and my lifelong desire, both personally
and
professionally. My goal is to continue on this path.
So yes, I studied to become therapist and through my studies and internships with psychologists, social workers and numerous mental health professionals, I opened my own practice and started to treat my own patients. I soon came to realize that my training was incomplete evident in the fact that there were times I was unable to help someone. Predominantly my patients were men who had been abused and suffered consequences of their sense of self, emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy problems. I aggressively researched and then more times than not, I was able to identify the root cause during my patient’s first session. In fact, psychologists and social workers consulted with me and referred their patients to me. During the time of my practice, I saw my patients, wrote articles which were published, did radio interviews, lectured a few times at a hospital and had speaking engagements at libraries. The
Downside of In-Person Therapy with the Men in My Professional Life I remembered when
I was
studying to
become a therapist to help men who suffered abuse or another
psychological
trauma / conflict-based issue in consequences of sexual dysfunctions.
During my
internship I was told that I had to do sexual acts on the patients.
Well that
was not going to happen! I was shocked because the people who were in
charge
were social workers and psychologists. And though it wasn’t just me who
was
told to engage in sexual acts, to me it sounded like my same old story.
I left
and then within a few weeks I found a psychologist who hired me to work
under
her guidance and there was no sex!
When I felt comfortable, I opened my own office and there it was again! As I was moving in, my landlord came in and as I turned around to look at him, he stood with his pants and underwear down by his ankles! I was furious as he was motioning for me to go to him and please be quiet. Seeing the look on my face and my anger brewing, he pulled up his underwear and pants and never did that again to me! Then, as the years passed there were more and more of my
patients, who
would
interrupt me when I was talking to them and tell me to stop the
bullshit talk
of sex therapy and would demand sex. There were those men who tried to
inappropriately touch me while I was talking to them about their
problems.
There were those men who called me a variety of sexually degrading
names. It
seemed like I would never be able to escape feeling so small and dirty.
I told
these patients emphatically that they should make their appointments
elsewhere
but I did let them stay and come back and endured their disparaging
remarks
because I needed the money to feed my children. Still, I knew that I
should
close my practice because it was out of hand and so was I, Then one day
I
received a call from the newspaper in which I ran my ad for years. I
was
informed that they were pulling my ad because a man called and
complained that
I made him pay for sex. Undoubtedly this was someone I had repeatedly
said no
to sex. I struggled for the next couple of months to keep my practice going, but most of the money I made came from new patients and without my ad, there weren’t any. I even started to clean the bathrooms in my office building to reduce my rent. But still, I had no choice but to close the business. I was so weary but then after about nine or ten months, I reopened my practice. In the beginning there were days when I just wanted to go home and crawl under the covers, but I fought hard, very hard. I thought that now that I had put on some weight, these men would finally pay attention to my knowledge and let me help them. I thought that in time to come when my youth and beauty were gone, the focus of these men would be different. When I felt a little better about myself, I called up some of my old patients who never gave me problems and we resumed their sessions. But now even these good patients gave me problems. They made fun of me, remarking about my weight, going on and on about how thin and beautiful I used to be. There was this one patient who came to see me and as he walked in the door, he looked at me and said he had to go to the bathroom and so I gave him the key. I waited about fifteen minutes before I decided to check on him to see if he was okay. As I opened the door to my office, there on the floor was the bathroom key. He was gone. There was another time when I called one of my patients to cancel his appointment because I was afraid of slipping on the snow and ice. He told me that I shouldn’t be afraid to fall because I had plenty of padding. Time went on and these men regularly carved their unkind words into my heart. Still, even at that, they were relentless in asking me for sex. Now though, they asked as if they were doing me a favor, saying no one wants to have sex with a fat girl, but they would. In retaliation, I crossed a line that
changed everything. There came this day when I held a patient captive
in my
office for about an hour because of his sexually degrading behavior and
words
and his refusal to pay me. He begged and pleaded with me to unlock the
door and
let him out. I wasn’t going to hurt him, but needed for him to
understand that
I was not going to take his abuse or anyone else’s abuse anymore. I
dragged him
over to a table and pointed out pictures of my children adding he
needed to pay
me for them. This patient apologized and paid me and then I let him
out. After
that day, even at the slightest provocation, I began striking a few of
these
men. Every time, right after I hit someone, I was scared because it was
so
sudden and happened without thought. This was not me! I stopped seeing men who had sexual dysfunctions but continued to see men with fetishes because they never bothered me about sex. They wanted me to role play with them with me being the dominatrix. I dressed in black leather, using my hands and objects to hurt. My mouth was like a verbal machine gun. I had a sick sense of satisfaction thinking that I finally found a way for men to listen to me and behave. I told myself that this was just a role play and didn’t matter because these men wanted it and were willing to pay for it. I knew that most of these men had fetishes because they had been abused as children. I realized that regardless of how angry I was my heart, soul and mind could not justify my behavior. So I took the shreds of what was left of me and carried on with the business back to seeing men who had sexual dysfunctions and not men with fetishes unless that just wanted to talk. I promised myself that I would get out as soon as I could, as soon as I had enough money. But before then I again fought constantly with these men as they continued to cheapen me. What was
it with all these men and
their blatant disrespect for me?
I just couldn’t
understand why they
mistreated me this way. In the beginning these same men constantly
complimented
me. Some of them said I had an exotic look about me. When I told my
friends, we
laughed as we tried to figure out what it was I had. I came to realize
that it
wasn’t something I had but something I didn’t have. These men were
disrespectful to me because I didn’t have any respect for myself and
they knew
it. It was written all over me. So then whenever a man was
disrespectful to me and
treated me as if I was only good for sex, I said that I did have
self-respect
now. Well each of them laughed in my face and said they didn’t believe
it. I
wasn’t surprised because I really didn’t believe it either. But this
was a new day. This was the new me.
I was strong and not a victim anymore. I had come such a long way and
was never
ever going backwards. I asked myself for
the very last time if my husband and these men were right that I was
only good
for sex and was worthless. All 5’1” of me stood tall and proud and my
answer
was no. I packed up my office and never looked back. I
did not want to give up helping people so I created: HEART-STEPS THERAPY My therapy
blueprint will help you in the following ways re:
This is therapy to help you if you have been ABUSED. It and helps to repair your DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and
resulting FEELINGS of your DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM
of what you believe
to be true about
yourself and the world. It also helps to repair your MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY. IF YOU WOULD
LIKE TO MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT FOR A THERAPY SESSION
I am offering sessions any way but in-person. Please email me at thepsycheworkshop@gmail.com and write “Session” in the subject area. In your email please state how you would like to communicate. You don’t have to use your real name initially. All sessions are private and confidential. And always remember you are not and never will be alone
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DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and resulting FEELINGS and a DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. SELF-EXPRESSION JOURNAL & MIND THEATRE SCRIPTS
MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY DESCRIPTIONS & CAUSES & SEX THERAPYSTATISTICS IN ENDING |
DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and resulting FEELINGS and a DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. SELF-EXPRESSION JOURNAL & MIND THEATRE SCRIPTS
MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY DESCRIPTIONS & CAUSES & SEX THERAPYSTATISTICS IN ENDING |
DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and resulting FEELINGS and a DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. SELF-EXPRESSION JOURNAL & MIND THEATRE SCRIPTS
MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY DESCRIPTIONS & CAUSES & SEX THERAPYSTATISTICS IN ENDING |
MALADAPTIVE
COPING
MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE Whether you have been abused or not though the following you can resolve your emotional and sexual intimacy issues. |
EMOTIONAL
INTIMACY |
FEAR
OF IMTIMACY Emotional
intimacy creates psychological
bonding. Emotional
intimacy problems you may experience after having been abused are in
general
having a fear of intimacy even though you may be starving for
affection. You may
avoid and be fearful of affection whether it be touching or words of
affection. You may be unable to replace passion
with companionship because
you may see emotional intimacy as interference in that because you were
close during sexual intimacy, you don’t need or want to then be
emotionally
intimate. And so, you may
alienate, isolate and estrange yourself
from others. You may with people who are not right for you and
consistently
choose the wrong partner.
When I was ready to be in a relationship, though logically I knew the difference between an abusive man and one who was not, my heart didn’t know the difference so I only dated submissive men. I didn’t have to be in control, but I was not going to allow anyone to ever again be in control of me. I then met my second husband Bob and I was never defensive or afraid anymore. This was a blessing for me with his love, kindness and caring. I believe for many reasons we were perfect for each other but especially because he was abused as a child by his mother and father and me as an adult so there was unspoken bond that we would never hurt each other. Sadly, my husband passed on August 22, 2015 and my life has never been the same. Bob lives in my heart and will for all time.
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THERAPY FOR
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
The following exercises will help you to be rid of your fear / avoidance of emotionally bound situations. You need to have a partner to perform these exercises. SENSATE FOCUS EXERCISES (William
H. Masters, PhD and Virginia E.
Johnson & Helen Kaplan Singer) Sensate
Focus I does not involve any
genital touching. Still, you will experience much pleasure through
sensual
touch. You should do this exercise to your partner first.
Sensate
Focus II includes Sensate
Focus I and the following.
TOUCH-TO-TOUCH
EXERCISES Note:
It doesn’t matter who goes first. And do not make love! Note:
If you have Premature Ejaculation, you may not be able to do these
touch
exercises because you may ejaculate quickly.
Just
Breathe
Catch
me if you can
Impression
Lean
on me
Blindfold
Mirroring
Hide
and seek
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SEXUAL INTIMACY ![]() |
THE CALAMITY OF
MAKING LOVE WITH MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES Sexual
intimacy concerns
physical bonding. Sexual intimacy problems
you may experience after
having been abused are sexual
dysfunctions and
fetishes. When you have sexual
dysfunctions / fetishes, emotional intimacy is hindered. If you cannot
be
emotionally intimate, sexual intimacy will not succeed because it will
hinder
all or some aspects of making love will be absent, difficult or
impossible. If
you cannot be sexually intimate, your love making will not succeed. As
sexual
comfort decreases, sexual anxiety increases and then failed emotional
intimacy
follows suit and round and round you go.
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DESCRIPTIONS
MALE
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS When
you have sexual dysfunctions you have problems with desire / arousal /
orgasm.
Hypoactive
Sexual Desire Disorder means that you have
little or no desire
to make love. You lose your desire before ejaculation when you make
love. Your
sexual urges, fantasies, or making love, are happening less than twice
a month. Sexual Aversion Disorder means that you have an
aversion or
revulsion to
making love. You have an irrational fear of making love. Male
Erectile Disorder means that you are unable
to attain
erections when making love. You have weak erections when making love.
You have
erections on and off when making love. You are unable to maintain
adequate
erections to complete intercourse to ejaculation when making love. Male
Orgasmic Disorder means that you are unable
to ejaculate
when making love. You get the feeling to ejaculate, but then lose the
feeling
when making love. Premature Ejaculation means that you ejaculate within
5 minutes
or less
when making love. You ejaculate before you desire when making love. Combination Orgasmic Disorder means that there are
times that
you take a
long time to ejaculate when making love; you are unable to ejaculate
when
making love; you get the feeling to ejaculate, but then lose the
feeling when
making love, and at other times, you ejaculate within 5 minutes or less
when
making love; you ejaculate before you desire when making love. Sexual
Dysfunctions when Masturbating means that
you are sexually
dysfunctional when you masturbate but not when you make love. Sexual Dysfunctions when using Condoms means that you are sexually dysfunctional only when you use a condom. FETISHES When
you have fetishes you have problems with recurrent, intense sexually
arousing
fantasies, sexual urges or behavior regarding: Coprophilia: feces. For example:
eating feces /
brown showers / when someone defecates on you.
Exhibitionism: exposing your
genitals to an unsuspecting or non-consenting person. Fetishism: using an article of
women’s clothing
when masturbating. For example: when you place a pair of women’s used
panties
over your head with the crotch over your nose while masturbating / when
you
wrap a pair of women’s panties around your penis while masturbating. Frotteurism: rubbing
your penis against an
unsuspecting or non-consenting person. Hypoxyphilia: being deprived of
oxygen. For example: when a noose is around your neck. Infantilism: behaving or dressing
as an infant. For example: when you wear a diaper and urinate or
defecate in it
/ when you suck on a pacifier / when you drink from a baby bottle /
when you
make baby sounds. Klismaphilia: enemas. Necrophilia: corpses, death, and destruction. Partialism: a nonsexual part of a
woman’s body, such as feet. For example: when you kiss and lick a
woman’s feet
/ when you rub your penis on a woman’s feet / when you ejaculate
between a
woman’s toes. Pedophilia: children. Sexual Masochism: receiving
psychological pain. For example: when you are humiliated / when
receiving
physical pain such as when you are spanked. Sexual Sadism: dispensing
psychological
pain. For example: when you are humiliating someone / when dispensing
physical
pain such as when you are spanking someone. Telephone Scatologia: making
obscene telephone calls to an unsuspecting or non-consenting person. Transvestic Fetishism: wearing
women’s clothing and accessories, and acting like a woman. Urophilia: urine. For example:
when you drink urine / golden showers / when someone urinates on you. Voyeurism: watching an
unsuspecting or non-consenting person such as while undressing, being
naked, or
making love. Zoophilia a.k.a. Bestiality: animals. For example: when you perform oral sex to an animal / when you have intercourse with an animal. Note: There are other fetishes and variations of the above but these seem to be the most common. Fetishistic Love Making When
you have fetishes, you will have
little or no interest in traditional lovemaking. This creates a dilemma
when
you have a partner because you must maintain a traditional sexual
relationship
on some level and fetish behavior interferes with sexual functioning
and will
sabotage your efforts. You may fantasize about your fetish during love
making
to be stimulated enough to avoid being sexually dysfunctional. Fetishistic love making is not love making at all. It is a refracted way for you to experience sexual pleasure. It recreates the primal events that are the basis for the existence of your fetish, such as events that made you feel humiliated and worthless. It gives you the illusion of either being in complete control (being dominant), or it gives you the illusion that you are being made worthy through repeated desired punishment (being submissive). During and after the fetish expression, though you experience a great release and feel good, the fetish expression not only does not repair the damage to your sense of self, but also reinforces it. This will be a fruitless endeavor without end, because as long as your fetishes are in front of you and not behind you, then you will seek out partners to either dispense or receive these expressions which ultimately are repeated assaults to your psyche. You must indulge your fetishes whether it is in fantasy or in actual expression. If you ignore or repress the urges, they will keep coming back stronger, and more forcefully than before, until they are somehow expressed. You may be living a secret life and possibly paying someone to act out your fetishes. You may even have chosen an occupation related to your fetish. There
are times when people compare making
love with the drama of fetish expression. However they are two separate
entities and cannot be compared. Making love, for example, is based on
love,
while fetish expression, for example, is based on harm. Not knowing the
difference, people do compare, having the conclusion, that fetish
expression
during lovemaking is more exciting because of the drama.
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CAUSES
BASIC
CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES
There
are three basic causes of sexual
dysfunctions / fetishes. Regardless of the cause, anxiety is always
present.
Performance
Anxiety and
Non-Conflict
Issues
When
you have a sexual dysfunction
caused by performance anxiety and non-conflict issues it means you are
fearful
that you will be unable to make love (desire, arousal, orgasm) without
any
problems. You can be especially anxious if you have had sexual
difficulties
before. You
should do the appropriate sex
therapy exercise. If you have more than one sexual dysfunction, then
follow the
‘Priority Order to Remedy Sexual Dysfunctions’. Once you overcome these performance anxiety and non-conflict issues, along with doing the appropriate sex therapy exercises, your sexual dysfunctions will be remedied. Frank's Story Frank
and his partner, Linda, are excited about making love.
He dims
the lights
and puts soft music on. He undresses and gets into bed while Linda goes
into
the bathroom to put on that sexy red outfit you love. Frank’s erection
is
poking at the sheets as he is so eager and enthusiastic, and oh so
ready! He
smiles as Linda calls out to him that she’s coming to bed in seconds.
But then
suddenly Frank remembers the last time he made love, when he was
sexually
dysfunctional. Now he can feel those physiological
changes take place.
His
erection weakens. As Linda dances out of the bathroom, Frank mutters
something
about being too tired, adding not tonight honey. Feeling depressed,
devastated
and hopeless, he rolls over and falls asleep. Conflict
Issues
Conflict
issues are psychological
struggles within you. Anxiety is always present. These conflicts and
the
reasons why, need to be identified and remedied. Once your conflicts
are
remedied (ex. Abuse) along with doing the appropriate sex therapy
exercises,
generally your sexual dysfunctions / fetishes will be remedied.
Jack's
Story Jack was married to Margaret. Generally after watching television for a few hours he would go to bed. Margaret would stand in the doorway of the bedroom and demand that he have sex with her. Jack knew if he met his wife’s demand for sex, he would as always suffer her verbal onslaught and psychological castration, as she always told him that his love making was a pis-poor performance. But, Jack also knew, if he didn’t meet her demand for sex, his days ahead would be gruesome at best. During times when they would make love, Margaret would shoot reasons at him as to why she should and would be unfaithful to him, adding “So Jack, you call yourself a real man!” Well, eventually Margaret did leave Jack for another man. Jack felt so unloved and unwanted. These feelings stirred up memories from childhood, when his mother either ignored him or told him how worthless he was. Jack thought about all of his relationships and realized there had never been a woman who loved him, who really loved him. And why should anyone love him, he thought, after all, his own mother didn’t! He had feelings of deep sadness and desperateness coupled with intense feelings of resentment and anger toward his mother, Margaret, and all women. He just couldn’t trust any of them, beginning with his mother. He decided that he would never let another one of them hurt him. The next time he was with a woman, he would be in total control. Then along came Carol, who became his second wife. Most of Jack’s conversations with Carol began with him saying, “Carol, if you really loved me . . . or Carol, you can really prove your love for me by . . . or Carol, I am your husband and you better . . .” She had to account for every minute of every day that she was away from him. On a typical day, she had to call Jack as soon as she arrived at work. She had to call him when she went to lunch and returned, reporting what she ate for lunch, where, and with whom. She had to call him when she was leaving work to go home. It was another call if Carol had to make any stops along the way, or if she got stuck in traffic. Jack demanded that Carol give him unconditional love and uncompromising obedience! Though she didn’t like living this way, Carol tolerated it because she was afraid he would leave her as her first husband did. She would never forget that morning when she woke up and found a note on his pillow that simply read ‘Goodbye’! Carol had promised herself when she met Jack that she would let him do whatever he wanted so as not to be left alone again. Medical and Medication Issues When
you have medical conditions and
need to take medications, it can interfere with sexual functioning. Ask
your
doctor if a change in medicine is possible. Also you can do the
appropriate sex
therapy exercise because up to a certain degree it will help because of
your
performance anxiety.
SPECIFIC CAUSES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS / FETISHES You
can have one or multiple causes of
your sexual dysfunctions / fetishes. It’s important to identify any and
all the
causes to be able to remedy your sexual dysfunctions / fetishes.
1.
Abuse
and Neglect
Issues mean that you were psychologically / physical harmed as a child.
It also
means that you were or are being psychologically / physical harmed as
an adult. 2.
Allergies
3.
Anxiety
Disorders:
i.e. Panic Attacks, Panic Disorder, Psych asthenia, Post-Traumatic
Stress
Disorder PTSD / Flashbacks, Thoughts, Dreams Recollections, Reduced
response to
antidepressants. 4.
Arthritis 5.
Autoimmune
Diseases:
i.e. Multiple Sclerosis, Rheumatoid Arthritis 6.
Bereavement
Issues
means that you are grieving over the loss of a loved one. Widower’s
Syndrome
means that you are unable to stop grieving over the loss of your
partner. 7.
Cancer 8.
Caretaker
of Your
Partner Issues means that since you started to care for your sick
partner, you
don’t have sexual feelings for her anymore. 9.
Chronic
Fatigue
Syndrome 10.
Cognitive
Disorders 11.
Communication
Issues means that you are
unable to talk to your partner. 12.
Constant
Love Making Issues means that your
partner believes you should always want to, and always be ready, to
make love. 13.
Creation
Issues means that your partner
cannot agree about having a baby or not, abortion and birth
control. 14.
Daughter
and Father Issues mean that you
are disturbed about the fact that when your daughter is an adult, men
will want
to have sex with her. If you have used women for sex, your disturbance
will be
magnified. 15.
Diabetes 16.
Dissociative
Disorders: i.e. Amnesia,
Dissociative Identity Disorder. 17.
Eating
Disorders: Obesity. 18.
Fatigue
Issues mean that you make love
even when you are too tired. 19.
Fear
of Intimacy Issues means that you
have a fear of being emotionally close and vulnerable to your partner. 20.
Fetish
Issues means that you have problems
with arousal during fetishistic love making / masturbating. You have
recurrent,
intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges or behaviors
regarding: 21.
Fibromyalgia 22.
Gastrointestinal
Problems 23.
Gender
Identity Issues means you feel
that you were born the wrong sex. 24.
Guilt
Issues means that you have
feelings of guilt about anything and so the sexual dysfunctions exist
to punish
yourself. 25.
Headaches:
Migraines 26.
Hepatitis 27.
Heart
Disease 28.
High
Blood Pressure 29.
Intimacy
Issues means that you are
afraid of being emotionally close and vulnerable to your partner. 30.
Irritable
Bowel Syndrome 31.
Liver
Problems 32.
Madonna-Whore
Complex Issues means that
you feel it would be disrespectful to ask your partner to perform
certain
sexual acts. 33.
Male
Sexual Dysfunctions Issues means
that you have problems with desire / arousal / orgasm. 34.
Marital
Status Issues means that the
likelihood of sexual dysfunctions is greater than not in men who have
been
recently separated, divorced, or widowed. 35.
Masturbation
Issues: a.
Masturbation
as no
other choice means that you masturbate because your partner does not
want to
make love. b.
Masturbation
as
obstruction means you masturbate more than you make love and because of
this
you have conditioned your body to function sexually fine only in this
way. You
masturbate very hard and fast which has desensitized your penis. This
masturbation technique cannot be translated into making love. c.
Masturbation
preference
means that you have a preference for masturbation, rather than making
love even
though making love is an option. 36.
Mood
Disorders: i.e. Depression, Major
Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder. 37.
Motor
Skills Disorder: i.e.
Developmental Problems. 38.
Musculoskeletal
Problems 39.
Neurological
Problems 40.
Negative
Aspects of Partner Issues means
that you are focused on negative aspects of your partner. 41.
New
Sexual Partner Issues means that you
feel anxious when making love with someone new. Most men find that the
first
few times they make love with someone new, they experience sexual
problems. 42.
Partner
Pleasure Knowledge Issues means
that your partner believes you are supposed to automatically know what
will
sexually please. 43.
Partner
VS. Partner Issues means that
you are sexually dysfunctional with one partner but sexually fine with
another
partner. 44.
Patient
Resistance Issues means that you
believe you want to remedy your sexual dysfunctions but you sabotage
the
therapy, such as, by not doing the sex therapy exercise or by doing the
sex
therapy exercise but not following the guidelines. 45.
Penis
Issues: a.
You
feel your penis is
inadequate in some way, such as, you think your penis is too small. b.
You
think of your
penis as a separate entity with a mind of its own. Thinking like this
causes
frustration about being able to control your body, to control your
penis. And
yet at the same time, thinking this way makes it easier for you to
tolerate
sexual dysfunctions because in a sense, if your penis has a mind of its
own,
then it’s out of your control. c.
You
had a medical
procedure performed to your penis. Studies have been conducted with the
possible determination that medical procedures to a penis, such as,
circumcision, vasectomy, or penis enlargement, can be perceived by the
patient’s mind as damage done to his penis. 46.
Personality
Disorders: i.e. Borderline
Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder / Antisocial
traits,
Passive/Aggressive Personality Disorder. 47.
Pornographic
and Unrealistic Sexual
Expectation Issues means that you / your partner believe the sex scenes
in
pornographic movies and the actors’ sexual performance are true to life
and
expect that when making love. 48.
Pressure
by Partner Issues means that
your partner wants to make love more than you want to. 49.
Privacy
Issues means that you do not
have enough privacy when making love. 50.
Psychological
Disorders means that you
have problems with mental disorders. The most common mental disorders
related
to sexual disorders are: anxiety, depression, mood, personality, sleep
or
substances. 51.
Religious
Backgrounds and Beliefs
Issues: a.
You
have feelings of
guilt because you practice sexual acts that go against your religious
beliefs. b.
You
have feelings of
guilt because of the nature of sexual thoughts, fantasies, and acts. 52.
Resentment
Issues means that you have
feelings of resentment toward your partner and so your sexual
dysfunctions
exist as a punishment for your partner. 53.
Respiratory
Problems 54.
Schizophrenia
and Other Psychotic
Disorders: i.e. Schizophrenia, Psychosis. 55.
Sexual
Menu Issues: a.
You
are uncertain
about your sexual orientation. b.
You
are conflicted
about your sexual orientation. 56.
Sexual
Orientation Issues means that you
are attracted to people of the same sex. 57.
Sexual
Pleasure Issues means that you
have feelings of guilt because of engaging in pleasurable sexual
activities
while at the same time someone you love is going through a hard time. 58.
Sexual
Practices Issues means that you
want to make love and not ejaculate for a long time so you hold your
ejaculation back. 59.
Sleep
Disorders: i.e. Nightmare
Disorder, Difficulty / disturbance / disruption in sleep. 60.
Somatoform
Disorders: i.e. Somatic
Disorder, Pain Disorder. 61.
Spectatoring
Issues means that you watch
yourself when you make love because you are anxious and want to see how
you are
doing. 62.
Stress
Issues means that you are under
pressure about something and unable to stop thinking about it even when
you
make love. 63.
Stroke
64.
Substance
Related Disorders: i.e.
Alcohol, Drugs, and Nicotine. 65.
Ulcerative
Colitis 66.
Ulcers 67.
Victim
of Sexual
Trauma Association Issues means you are close to someone who was
sexually
assaulted.
|
GRAPHIC TALES OF MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCIONS
/ FETISHES
Disclaimer: These true life tales
are from my
patient files from 1990 - 2004. All personal information, and sometimes
the
details within a scenario, have been changed or altered to maintain
confidentiality, and to protect the privacy and identity of my patients
and their
families, especially children. Any similarity or resemblance to actual
people
living or dead, events, or details, is entirely coincidental. Abuse and Fetishes If a man was abused in any way, it’s not unusual for him to fantasize about that abuse to be sexually functioning either during masturbation or sex. This happens even if the man has any feelings of guilt such as thinking about his mother. He also may not want to ever be sexually aroused functioning. A man may feel awkward about any kind of touch and affection in that he wants to cuddle with a woman but may feel repulsed at the same time. He may feel also that women are emotionally dangerous and they cannot be trusted and have feelings such as hostility and resentment toward women. When
a man
was abused it’s not unusual for him to have a fetish which
is a re-enactment of the abuse, even those things he didn’t suffer. In
order
for him to be sexually functioning he may need to: peep; smell a
woman’s dirty
underwear; do oral sex to a strap-on dildo; cross-dress; treated as a
slut; called
a sissy boy and a dirty pig, told worthless and cannot do anything
right; anal
sex with a strap-on dildo; be urinated on; lick a woman’s feet clean;
be defecated
on; wear diapers; tied up; blindfolded; nipple and cock and ball
torture / clothespins
clipped up and down and all around penis and testicles and then one by
one pulled
off quickly / vice is screwed tightly on penis; enema; wear panties
with crotch
over nose; tampon inserted into his anal area’ bitten
Miscellaneous Reasons other than abuse for sexual dysfunctions are: partner is not affectionate’ unfaithfulness; being a caretaker for a sick partner; frequency of sex; penis size concerns; loss of job; abortion disagreement; no love; fear of being alone; making love time and acts discrepancies; sexual fantasies; not feeling loved; grief; depression and attempted suicide; being negatively sexually compared; loss of attraction; pain deliberately inflicted during sex. |
SEX THERAPY
MALE
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS The following exercises will help you
to rid yourself of your
problems in sexually bound situations. Guidelines
Multiple
Sexual Dysfunctions Priority Order to Remedy
When you have a single sexual dysfunction, then do that sex therapy exercise. However, if you have multiple sexual dysfunctions, there is a priority order in which the sex therapy exercises should be done in order to remedy all of the sexual dysfunctions.
HYPOACTIVE SEXUAL DESIRE DISORDER ·
You lose your desire before
ejaculation when you
make love. ·
Your sexual urges, fantasies, or
making love,
are happening less than twice a month. Note: You do not
need a partner for this sex
therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you
do have
a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise
because it
will create anxiety!
SEXUAL DESIRE DISORDER Note: You do need a
partner for parts of this
sex therapy exercise. Do not make love during or after this exercise
because it
will create anxiety! Expose
yourself to that aspect that you have an aversion to, or an irrational
fear of a
little at a time. Move at your own pace. Do not rush yourself.
Do not
move onto
the next step until you are completely comfortable. Be as consistent as
is
possible. Do the appropriate exercise as often as your partner is
agreeable,
but still on a regular basis.
1.
Use
a lubricant of your choice and begin by gently stroking your genitals. 2.
If
you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day. 3.
If
you do feel comfortable, then continue and masturbate to orgasm. 4.
If
you do not get that far, it’s okay. 5.
Try
it another day. Touch
& Oral Sex You touching your partner’s genitals 1.
Begin by getting close to your
partner’s
genitals. 2.
If you do not feel comfortable, then
stop
and try
another day. 3.
If you do feel comfortable, then
lightly
touch your
partner’s genitals. 4.
Once you feel totally comfortable
with this
then put
your mouth close to your partner’s genitals. 5.
Once you feel totally comfortable
with this
then put
your mouth on your partner’s genitals. 6.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 7.
Try it another day. Your partner touching your genitals 1.
Begin
by letting your partner get close to your genitals. 2.
If
you do not feel comfortable, then stop and try another day. 3.
If
you do feel comfortable, then let your partner lightly touch your
genitals. 4.
Once
you feel totally comfortable with this then let your partner put her
mouth
close to your genitals. 5.
Once
you feel totally comfortable with this then let your partner put her
mouth on
your genitals. 6.
If
you do not get that far, it’s okay. 7.
Try
it another day. Intercourse 1.
Begin by getting close to your
partner’s
genitals. 2.
If you do not feel comfortable, then
stop
and try
another day. 3.
If you do feel comfortable, then
place your
genitals
close to your partner’s genitals. 4.
If you do feel comfortable, then
place your
genitals on
your partner’s genitals. 5.
If you do feel comfortable, then
begin to
have
intercourse. 6.
If you do feel comfortable, then
complete
intercourse
to orgasm. 7.
If you do not get that far, it’s okay. 8. Try it another day.
MALE ERECTILE DISORDER ·
You have weak erections when making
love. ·
You have erections on and off when
making love. ·
You are unable to maintain adequate
erections to
complete intercourse to ejaculation when making love. Note: You do not
need a partner for this sex
therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you
do have
a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise
because it
will create anxiety! 1st
Step 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 2.
Stop before you get the feeling to
ejaculate. 3.
Stopping means taking your hand away
from
your penis. 4.
Do not think about sex at all. 5.
You may or may not have an erection. 6.
It’s okay if you don’t. 7.
In time you will. 8.
If you did have an erection, during
this
stopping time,
your erection may go down. 9.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. Try
it another
day. 2nd
Step 1.
Once your erection goes down, put the
lubricant on your
penis and masturbate. 2.
Stop before you get the feeling to
ejaculate. 3.
Stopping means taking your hand away
from
your penis. 4.
Do not think about sex at all. 5.
You may or may not have an erection. 6.
It’s okay if you don’t. 7.
In time you will. 8.
If you did have an erection, during
this
stopping time,
your erection may go down. 9.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 10.
Try
it another day. 3rd
Step 1.
Now for the last time, put the
lubricant on
your penis. 2.
Masturbate to ejaculation. 3.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 4.
Try it another day. MALE ORGASMIC DISORDER ·
You get the feeling to ejaculate,
but then lose
the feeling when making love. Note: You do not
need a partner for this sex
therapy
exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you do have
a
partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise because
it will
create anxiety! 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis. 2.
Mentally stimulate yourself. 3.
Masturbate until you ejaculate. 4.
If you do not get that far, it’s okay. 5.
Try it another day. PREMATURE EJACULATION ·
You ejaculate before you desire when
making
love. Note: You do not
need a partner for this sex
therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you
do have
a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise
because it
will create anxiety! 1st
Start and Stop 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 2.
You should get the feeling to
ejaculate
within 5
minutes or less. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If
you ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this
sex
therapy exercise again. 2nd
Start and Stop 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If
you ejaculate before this 2nd stop, then do not try this exercise again
in the
same day. 11.
To
do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating, or be unable
to
ejaculate. 3rd
Start and Stop 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If
you ejaculate before this 3rd stop, then do not try this exercise again
in the
same day. 11.
To
do so may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating or be unable
to
ejaculate. 4th
Start to Ejaculation 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate to
ejaculation. 3.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 4.
Try it another day.
COMBINATION
MALE
ORGASMIC DISORDER · You take a long time to ejaculate when making love. ·
You are unable to ejaculate when
making love. ·
You get the feeling to ejaculate,
but then lose
the feeling when making love. AND
AT OTHER TIMES ·
You ejaculate within 5 minutes or
less when
making love. ·
You ejaculate before you desire when
making
love. Note: You do not
need a partner for this sex
therapy exercise and it is preferred you do this exercise alone. If you
do have
a partner, do not make love before, during or after this exercise
because it
will create anxiety! Note: If the Male
Orgasmic Disorder
happens
first or more often, then do that exercise first. If the Premature
Ejaculation
happens first or more often, then do that exercise first. MALE ORGASMIC
DISORDER 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis. 2.
Mentally stimulate yourself. 3.
Masturbate until you ejaculate. 4.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 5.
Try it another day. PREMATURE EJACULATION 1st
Start and Stop 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 2.
You should get the feeling to
ejaculate
within 5
minutes or less. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If you
ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex
therapy
exercise again. 4th
Start to Ejaculation 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate to
ejaculation. 3.
If
you do not get that far, it’s okay. 4.
Try
it another day. When you have
gotten this
far, then for the next 2 weeks or
until you complete
it, do the 1st step, 2nd step and 4th
step.
1st
Start and Stop 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 2.
You should get the feeling to
ejaculate
within 5
minutes or less. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If you ejaculate
before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex therapy
exercise
again. 2nd
Start and Stop 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to ejaculation,
stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If you
ejaculate before this 2nd stop, then do not try this exercise again in
the same
day. 11.
To do so
may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating, or be unable to
ejaculate. 4th
Start to Ejaculation 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate to
ejaculation. 3.
If
you do not get that far, it’s okay. 4.
Try
it another day. When you have
gotten this
far, then for the next 2 weeks or
until you
can complete it, do the 1st step, 2nd step, 3rd
step and 4th.
1st
Start and Stop 1.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 2.
You should get the feeling to
ejaculate
within 5
minutes or less. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If you
ejaculate before this 1st stop, then wait awhile and then try this sex
therapy
exercise again. 2nd
Start and Stop 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If you
ejaculate before this 2nd stop, then do not try this exercise again in
the same
day. 11.
To do so
may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating, or be unable to
ejaculate. 3rd
Start and Stop 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate. 3.
When you get the feeling that you are
close
to
ejaculation, stop. 4.
The way that you stop is to take your
hand
away from
your penis. 5.
Take a couple of deep breaths, and
wait for
the feeling
to ejaculate to pass. 6.
You might lose your erection. 7.
This is normal. 8.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 9.
Try it another day. 10.
If you
ejaculate before this 3rd stop, then do not try this exercise again in
the same
day. 11.
To do so
may cause you to either have difficulty ejaculating or be unable to
ejaculate. 4th
Start to Ejaculation 1.
Wait for the feeling to ejaculate to
pass. 2.
Put the lubricant on your penis and
masturbate to
ejaculation. 3.
If you do not get that far, it’s
okay. 4.
Try it another day.
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS WHEN MASTURBATING ·
You are sexually dysfunctional when
you
masturbate but not when you make love. ·
You have a conflict because
masturbation is a
non-pressure situation. Note: You
must first identify and remedy the conflict and then generally your
sexual
dysfunctions remedy themselves. If they do not, then do the appropriate
sex
therapy exercise for the sexual dysfunction you are experiencing.
SEXUAL
DYSFUNCTIONS WHEN USING A CONDOM · You are sexually dysfunctional only when you use a condom.
Note: Generally
it’s because the condom is uncomfortable. Try different condoms to find
the one
that is the least uncomfortable. Once you do this, than masturbate
using the
condom until you find a comfort level. Then when you make love with the
condom
you will be sexually functional. If this does not happen, you have a
conflict
which means that you must first identify and remedy the conflict and
then
generally your sexual dysfunctions remedy themselves. If they do not,
then do
the appropriate sex therapy exercise for the sexual dysfunction you are
experiencing.
FETISHES Fetishes
are caused by conflict issues
which are psychological struggles within you. Sex therapy for fetishes begins with being in therapy to identify your conflicts and the reasons why you have these conflicts. Most times the reason for fetishes is based on having been abused as a child. Once your conflicts are remedied (e.g. abuse) your fetishes will be remedied. If you also have sexual dysfunctions they will be remedied also. While in therapy, if you also have sexual dysfunctions you can do the appropriate sex therapy exercise for sexual dysfunctions which may help with your anxiety. |
DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and resulting FEELINGS and a DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. SELF-EXPRESSION JOURNAL & MIND THEATRE SCRIPTS
MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY DESCRIPTIONS & CAUSES & SEX THERAPYSTATISTICS IN ENDING |
MALE
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS #
of Men & Male Sexual
Dysfunctions 104 Male
Erectile Disorder, Premature Ejaculation
207 Premature Ejaculation 8
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder
1 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Sexual Aversion Disorder 1
Hypoactive
Sexual Desire
Disorder, Sexual Aversion Disorder
1 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder 11 Hypoactive
Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder,
Premature
Ejaculation
5 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Erectile Disorder, Premature Ejaculation 2 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation 1 Sexual
Aversion Disorder
85 Male Erectile Disorder 47 Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder 64 Male Erectile Disorder, Male Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation 31
Male Orgasmic Disorder
44 Male
Orgasmic Disorder, Premature Ejaculation
25 Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) 108
30 to 39
predominant age
39
1 19 71 20 to 29 predominant age 28 92 40 to 49 predominant age 45 48 50 to 59 predominant age 50 28 60 to 69 predominant age 60 4 80 to 89 predominate age 82 # of Men & Marital Status 223 1st Marriages 74 single 21 single in a relationship 3 engaged 3 2nd marriages 11 separated 38 divorced<> 63 end of relationship 2 divorced in a relationship 10 widowed 4 miscellaneous 259 marital statuses unknown # of Men &
Time Span
from Realization / Onset of Sexual Dysfunction(s) until Seeking Therapy
43 2 Years / Couple of Years 1 3 - 4 weeks 1 1 month 10 2 months / couple of months 6 3 months / few months 3 3 - 4 months 2 4 months 2 5 months 1 5 - 6 months 15 6 months 2 6 - 7 months 1 6 months - 1 year 1 7 months 3 8 months 1 8 - 9 months 1 9 months 1 9 months - 1 year 24 1 year 2 1 year on and off 9 1 - 2 years 1 2 - 3 years 10 3 years / few years 1 3 years / few years on and off 11 3 - 4 years 2 4 years 6 5 years 1 5 - 6 years 6 6 years 1 6 years on and off 1 7 years 2 8 years 1 9 years 1 10 years 2 12 years 1 20 years 1 25 years 1 30 years 23 always 2 always on and off 8 awhile 35 long time 1 many years 3 most of his life 8 on and off 387 time span unknown FETISHES #
of
Men & Fetishes
17 Sexual Masochism (Predominant Single Fetish) 5 Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism (Predominant Multiple Fetishes) 2 Fetishism 1 Infantilism 5 Partialism 2 Transvestic Fetishism 1 Zoophilia 1 Exhibitionism and Fetishism and Frotteurism and Sexual Masochism and Urophilia 1 Infantilism and Sexual Masochism 2 Sexual Masochism and Urophilia #
of Men
& Age Span & Predominant Age
4 30 to 39 predominant age 33 1 20 to 29 predominant age 26 2 40 to 49 no predominant age 1 50 to 59 predominant age 52 29 age unknown # of Men & Marital Status info lost 1st Marriage 2 single 2 divorced 2 separated 24 marital status unknown # of Men & Time
Span
from Realization / Onset of Sexual Dysfunction(s) until Seeking Therapy
37 time span unknown MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS AND FETISHES # of Men & Sexual Dysfunctions and Fetishes 9 Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism 1 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder & Partialism 1 Hypoactive
Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Voyeurism
1 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism<> 1 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism 1 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Exhibitionism 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Exhibitionism and Fetishism and Frotteurism and Sexual Masochism and Urophilia 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Exhibitionism and Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Partialism 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Partialism and Sexual Masochism 8 Male Erectile Disorder & Sexual Masochism<> 2 Male Erectile Disorder & Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Sexual Sadism 1 Male Erectile Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Exhibitionism 4 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Sexual Masochism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder & Urophilia 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism, Sexual Masochism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism<> 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism, Sexual Masochism 6 Male Erectile Disorder and Male <>Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism, Sexual Sadism 2 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism, Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Exhibitionism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation, & Exhibitionism and Partialism and Sexual Masochism<> 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism and Sexual Masochism 1 Male Erectile Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism and Sexual Masochism 1 Male Orgasmic Disorder & Fetishism 5 Male Orgasmic Disorder & Sexual Masochism 2 Male Orgasmic Disorder & Transvestic Fetishism 1 Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Partialism 1 Male Orgasmic Disorder and Premature Ejaculation & Transvestic Fetishism<> 1 Premature Ejaculation & Coprophilia and Fetishism and Partialism and Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism 1 Premature Ejaculation & Coprophilia and Fetishism and Partialism and Transvestic Fetishism 1 Premature Ejaculation & Fetishism and Partialism 1 Premature Ejaculation & Klismaphilia and Sexual Masochism ? Premature Ejaculation & Klismaphilia and Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism and Urophilia 3 Premature Ejaculation & Partialism<> 2 Premature Ejaculation & Partialism and Sexual Masochism 1 Premature Ejaculation & Partialism and Transvestic Fetishism 5 Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism 3 Premature Ejaculation & Sexual Masochism and Transvestic Fetishism 3 Premature Ejaculation & Transvestic Fetishism 3 Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Fetish(es) 1 Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Sexual Masochism 1 Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Sexual Masochism, Urophilia 1 Unspecified Sexual Dysfunction(s) & Unspecified Fetish(es) # of Men & Age
Span & Predominant Age
11 40 to 49 no predominant age 9 30 to 39 predominant age 33 4 50 to 59 predominant age 50 56
age
unknown
# of Men &
Marital Status
19 1st Marriage 6 single in a relationship 18 single 4 divorced 2 separated 2 widowed 40 marital status unknown # of Men & Time Span from Realization / Onset of Sexual Dysfunction(s) until Seeking Therapy 5 Always 2
6 months
1 8 - 9 months 1 1 year 3 1 - 2 years 4 2 years / couple of years 1 10 years 1 long time 73 time span unknown
|
Did you suffer
abuse and was it really that bad? By now you
will
know if you suffered abuse
and if it was that bad. Did you think about what happened to you? Did
you then
know? Do you understand that in asking yourself this question you do
not need
to be concerned if your recollections and feelings are accurate because
what
you don’t remember by fact, you will remember by impressions? Do you
realize that
what your heart, mind and soul perceived is the truth? So, do you
realize that
the next time and every time you ask yourself if you suffered abuse and
it was really
that bad? Will you respond with the resounding truth! It was abuse and
it was
really that bad?
And then ask yourself again who you were then and who you are now. My
hope is that you will be able to answer: I am someone who is healing
and in
recovery. And because I am healing and recovery, I will not be a victim
anymore. I am made up yesterday’s despair, today's hope and tomorrow's
dreams,
with mere shreds of myself that have refused to surrender and have
refused to
die. THERAPY
SESSIONS IF
YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT FOR A THERAPY SESSION |
THE END |
DAMAGED SENSE OF SELF and resulting FEELINGS and a DISTORTED BELIEF SYSTEM of what you believe to be true about yourself and the world. SELF-EXPRESSION JOURNAL & MIND THEATRE SCRIPTS
MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS and BEHAVIOR PATTERNS re: TROUBLE IN PARADISE: EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL INTIMACY DESCRIPTIONS & CAUSES & SEX THERAPYSTATISTICS IN ENDING |